From my earliest memories, depression has been a constant presence in my life.I grew up on the edges — physically different, socially awkward, and always aware of not quite fitting in.
I was raised in Ebbw Vale during the collapse of Welsh industry, where loss of work, identity, and hope was everywhere — and alcohol became both escape and glue. I found belonging through sport and later through drinking, which slowly became central to my identity.
Despite periods of clarity — particularly through martial arts and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu — I repeatedly returned to alcohol, convincing myself I was in control when I wasn’t.
By 2023, my life had narrowed to survival. On June 6th, after hitting a personal low point, I stopped drinking. That small decision became the foundation for rebuilding my life.
This space exists to share the tools and perspectives that helped me keep moving when depression felt unbearable. Take what helps. Leave the rest.