I want to share something so that I can get right guidance,

I know I shouldn't share something so personal like this, but I think I do want to express myself finally. It's a lot to handle alone while I have so many goals. 😔

I don't wanna play victim or weak because I'm strong, but this thing breaks me each time.

It's related toy family.

One of the video of rey where he was talking about manifesting love partner or something, in that video he was talking about how our environment effect our reality, like if your parents are loving then you experience love and if not then it's get difficult (I'm sorry my words are not clear 🙆🏽‍♀️🙇🏽‍♀️

So basically this thing is same in my family, my father, very strict, dominant, discriminate women and follow society lke they pay for his bills

And my mother is shadow of my father, she is kind but cruel at the same time 😥

I'm a student nd I'm a daughter their behaviour towards my brother is way different then towards me.

Everyone order's me around to do stuff, they basically force me to do everything, I'm not lying, legit everything by their slang "once you'll get married you'll have to do all these"

I can even refuse otherwise they manipulate me

My brother is way Older then me, his marriage is next year while I'm a student and yet my father is saying he'll decide my brothers marriage and then the very next year they'll decide mine too??

First a fall I'm already facing discrimination, manipulation, inequality, toxicity, patriarchal, and all the bad things in my house.

Yet I do follow my spiritual path with strong conviction with believe that I have to become a teacher, I want to get a good job, I want to move out, i want to find my love on my own and will marry someday happily.

But my family perspective towards this is different, they are ruining my mental health 🥹🥺 constant discrimination and expectations, constant marriage talk and all of these society wrong standards. It's all ruining my peace.

I try to avoid their talk, I do help around and avoid overthinking, but it's not helping 🥺 i always get sad and effected when they talk about marriages and planning. I don't want to hate them, but I do.

I don't know how to find peace as long as I'm here, it's sooo exhausting to keep up with them.

They literally have no topic to talk constantly about others life, gossips, marriage and kids, at this point I'm Hating all this, i legit thinking that my spiritual journey is getting bad, I'm getting crazy, i feel weakness in my ambition, confidence, i feel no fire for my goals anymore 🥺😔

I work so hard to avoid fearing them but I fear that my parents will control, my career will be never settled, I'll never get love and equality, at the same point I have confidence and believe but still when I heard them I break down.

So please help me, i don't want motivation, i want help, guidance, my family ruining my mental health, i feel so tired!!..

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