Covert Narcissist · Spiritual Rebels

Covert Narcissist

Watch out for the covert narcissist. Really narcissists in general, but this one really hurt. 9 years of my life was spent with the girl. I was blindsided by artificial love. Constantly reassured that I was loved, only to maintain her grip on me. Holding back intimacy as a punishment or way to get what she wanted. And I, like a fool, kept trying to make things work even when I released a side of me I never knew existed. I'm in the progress of letting go, not of the person, but from the relationship I thought I was in. Something unbreakable, something where I left myself vulnerable to someone who I thought was my soul mate. I know God is leading me towards something so, so much better. I just now feel the burn accepting this person never really loved ME, only loved the things I could provide and give freely no strings attached. This has been one of those hard lessons Ive always spoke to people about. I wanna make this clear if you feel you may be in a similar situation. This person, if they are covert narcissist, will tell you everything to the tee of what you want to hear, and not mean it at all. They don't give you real empathy or love. They only give what they have to in order to control, and if it becomes too costly on their end they will drop you like a bad habit. 9 years with her, and after I came back 2 months later trying to work on my explosiveness and her narcissism, she had already moved on. She kept giving mixed signals like she still wanted to work things out with me, but her actions were going to still spend time with the new guy. I'll tell you what she was doing, keeping me there as a back up if the other guy doesn't play out how she wants him to. It's a little hard to see this as a win, but aside from the hurt I'm for certain better is already in motion. Thank you God for this blessing in disguise, you set me free.

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