Nov 1 • General discussion
Permission to Make the "Ugly" Drawing
Hey Superparents,
Ever get a simple request from your kid like, "Draw me a bird!" or "Make a dog out of this Play-Doh!"... and you just... freeze?
It's a simple ask, but suddenly perfectionism, judgment, and a weird sense of panic kick in. Why? Why is a simple drawing suddenly so high-stakes?
You hit it right on the head: We're not in the present. We're in the past, dragging all our old "I'm not artistic" baggage into a simple moment of connection. Our inner child shows up trying to perform or make up for something, when our actual child just wants to play.
We freeze because we are worried about the Product (a "good" drawing). Our kids just want to enjoy the Process (drawing with us).
An article from Psychology Today on the "tyranny of the 'product'" points out that for kids, the joy is in the "doing"—the smearing of paint, the squishing of clay. When we get stuck in our heads worrying about how the bird should look, we've lost the entire point.
So, acknowledge that perfectionist reflex, and then politely tell it to take a hike.
Instead of trying to "make up" for the past, invite your inner child to just play in the present. Have fun together. The moment you lose the "I have to be good at this" reflex, there’s nothing left but fun.
Do the "ugly" drawing. Make the shapeless sculpture. Paint the sort of rainbow.
Your kid won't just love the drawing; they'll love having you there to make it with them.
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Permission to Make the "Ugly" Drawing
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