Who Are You Underneath the Roles You’ve Outgrown? Strip away the job title. Strip away “the reliable one,” “the strong one,” “the one who holds it all together.” Strip away whatever role you’ve worn so long it started to feel like your name. What’s left? For most of us, that question brings up static before it brings up an answer. That’s not a failure — it’s just proof of how thoroughly we learn to build ourselves out of what we do instead of who we are. Roles are useful. They give us structure, purpose, a place to put our energy. But a role was never meant to be a home. It was meant to be a season. Individuation is the slow work of finding out what’s underneath — not by tearing the roles off all at once, but by getting curious every time one starts to loosen. When a role no longer fits, it isn’t leaving you empty. It’s revealing you. The parts of you that were always there, just crowded out by the doing. Here’s a way in, if you want one: think of the roles you’ve held as layers of clothing, each one put on for a reason, each one useful for a time. Underneath all of them is something that was never dressed in the first place — something that doesn’t need a job title, a relationship status, or anyone else’s approval to simply exist. That’s the part this sanctuary is here to help you meet. A question to sit with: If you took off every role you’re currently wearing, what would still be standing? This is my own photo, it just felt… right.

No, this photo is not ice cream. I forgot to take one. But this is some sweet coffee house art that looks like my heart feels tonight. My oldest son had a birthday recently and we usually go to ice cream together to celebrate him. We just don’t do the gift thing very well. While we were chatting, the subject of symptoms my daughter-in-law is experiencing came up. I have known for a long while that she’s had issues, but I know my son and I didn’t ask for specifics because he has felt I’m butting into his business in the past. But today was different. He opened a door and I stepped inside their nightmare for a moment. I asked for specifics. What’s amazing is, her issues are my specialty in the holistic healing arena and she has already done the hardest part: changing her habits. You can’t heal without making changes. You can’t heal doing the very things that created illness within. It requires the strength to change and unfortunately for so many, they have to become so extremely miserable, so uncomfortable, that they begin to make changes. My favorite clients are the ones that are open and receptive to making those necessary changes. Now, I had sworn off coaching because I struggle to take money from people who will not do what it takes. I have this list of people I have failed to help. People I could not get through to. People I could not reach. And my psyche has used that list to prove to me that I shouldn’t be a coach. Those condemning words pop into my mind often…. “You couldn’t save your own mother so why do you think you can help anyone?” Who in their right mind would continue when they felt like such a failure? Over the last many months, well, most of 2026 if I’m honest, I’ve allowed myself to be swallowed up in spaces I don’t belong. I’ve only felt that at one other job ever. And I had to think back on that experience and how it felt to hit rock bottom. Or what I thought was rock bottom… My greatest growing season came from that time. So I reflected back. What did I do? What books did I read? What beliefs did I challenge? What tools did I use?

You may have to fully open the photo I’m sharing to see it all. I did that partly on purpose, partly on accident because it’s part of a conversation I had with my son the other day. My son is a grown man. But the coverage in the media has done what it is meant to do: plant seeds of fear, doubt, and division. I’m not saying all media does this, but if we learned anything from C😱v⬆️d, it was how the media is used, almost as a weapon, against those that haven’t been able to see it yet. Very few were ever interested in what the truth was. They ignorantly called others “conspiracy theorists”, crazy, or worse because some challenged the lie. But this post isn’t actually about all that. This post is about a child, yes a grown child, but still my child, and how the media planted the possibility of a trauma in him. If the situation has escaped your feed, I’m referring to a case where a very depressed mother killed her three children. It’s gotten massive attention in the US. I can’t speak for other places in the world, but I’m sure similar tragedies have happened. As adults, I don’t think we even wonder how certain stories will affect our children or our family. This was the first time in my motherhood career that any of my children came to me to ask anything on this level. Depression is a severe disconnection from spirit. Our own spirit. The decline can be so slight and so quiet that you don’t even realize how much you’ve allowed disconnection from until you are truly suffering. And our modern society is not very educated in how to be of help to ourselves and to others when we notice the slight shifts and quiet perceptions of a shift in energy. In my own personal experience, the disconnection comes from human-experience discomfort or suffering. This is a HUGE conversation for another time, but is the entire reason I created the course on Individuation because it is a well-established road map for the return to Soul. It’s currently in the classroom for members who have hit level 4. Yes, there is a reason I did it that way.