Alcohol: Because no good story starts with someone eating a salad.
Alcohol: because we can't change the past.
I'm relaxed. If they they can't fix my brakes just make my horn louder.
If you are paying $4. a bottle for smart water, it's not working.
Becoming a vegetarian is a Big Missed Steak.
I'm probably not doing anything really bad because no one from the future has come back to stop me.
Eat right, exercise and die anyway.
Water is the most essential element. We need it to make coffee and whiskey.
We seldom realize how boring we are until someone asks what you do for fun.
I'm dyslexic but I can still spell yuck fou.