It’s difficult these days to name your children. And that explains why we see kids today with some of the weird names that are prevalent in our society. So when people ask me today what I think they should name their babies, I quickly tell them, “There are some beautiful names in the Bible!” But then I got to thinking . . . There really are some Biblical names that you just should not name your child! For example, it is probably not a good idea to name your baby boy, “JUDAS!” That is setting him up for a whole lot of problems! Likewise, when naming your new daughter, I would stay away from “Bathsheba!” Now . . . for the most part, there are some really good names to select from. I don’t think I’d go with Abednego though! Can you imagine having a friend named Abednego? “Yo! That’s my homeboy, Abednego Jackson! And those are his brothers over there; Shadrach and Meshach! Yeah! They’re FIREFIGHTERS!”

So let me get this straight! I’m a child of God, part of the family of God, but I gotta fill out paperwork to come into the house of God? How does that work? I walk in like, “HEY FAMILY,” and somebody at the door is like, “ Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa! Not so fast! Are you a "MEMBER" of this family?” Hold on . . . I thought we were all related. That’s like going to Thanksgiving. You walk in the door and Grandma hugs you, but then, your cousin stops you and asks, “Yeah but did you sign the “Official Potato Salad Agreement?” Church is the ONLY place where you can be saved, but STILL be on probation! I know you love Jesus, but can you attend the business meeting? And then they hit you with that tone, “Well, you CAN’T vote!” VOTE ON WHAT? I didn’t know I walked into Congress! I thought this was church! And don’t even think about trying to serve! “I’d love to serve!” “Oh, we love your heart! But first, SIX WEEKS CLASS, Background Check, Three references and A BLOOD SAMPLE!” I’m like, “I’m just trying to stack chairs . . . not adopt a child!” And then they say, “Well, it’s about accountability!” NO! IT’S ABOUT CONTROL! Because “if this is God’s House . . . and I’m one of God’s Children . . . then technically, I LIVE HERE!” Imagine if you kids came home for dinner and you stopped them at the door; “Uh-uh, you ain’t coming in unless you JOIN the family officially!” They’d be like, “I’ve been your kid since 1973!” See, I’m not against membership. I’m just wondering why the Family Reunion has a “SIGN-IN sheet” and a TEST? I visited a church a while back and they said, “We’d love for you to be part of the family!” I said, “Great! I’m already saved, I love Jesus, I even brought a casserole… where do I sit?” They said, “Oh no… first you gotta take the membership class.” A class?? I thought I was joining the Body of Christ, not applying for a Costco card. Like what are we covering in Week 3? “Advanced Hand Raising Techniques”? “Intro to Potluck Strategy: How to Beat Sister Karen to the Deviled Eggs”?

Last night, my neighbor came home drunk and starting banging on the door loudly for about 5 minutes! He lives alone! So, I went outside and told him he wasn't home, and he turned around .... AND LEFT!!!

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