23d • Reflections
She stopped wanting him. Here’s why.
Hey lover,
“I’m just letting her take the initiative now.”
As soon as he said that, I sighed. I knew exactly where this was going.
His sexual advances toward her had been rejected so often that he just resigned to his fate.
He’d just wait until she would be in the mood. A clear signal his sex life was already dead.
Now, there are many reasons a woman stops wanting to be intimate with her man. Here are a few examples:
He isn’t able to pleasure her properly.
He’s not stepping up in the relationship.
He’s not able to make her feel safe, or provide her with the space to unwind.
In his case, he approached her with too much neediness.
And when she would be put off by that and reject him, he would respond with moping like a little boy who didn’t get his candy.
Now, the reason that I sighed is because waiting for a woman to initiate is like waiting for the room to warm up without turning on the heater first.
It’s just unlikely to happen.
A woman’s arousal is reflective. She gets turned on by feeling sexy, loved, and hungered for.
It’s a man’s desire for her that triggers her arousal.
Here’s the difficult balance a man needs to find:
You still need to be the one to initiate, but there cannot be an outcome attached to it.
As soon as a woman feels forced into intimacy, because otherwise she’ll have to deal with an angry or sad boy, her willingness goes out the window.
That’s why in week 4 of Reclaim the Fire: The Masculine Path to Polarity, Arousal, and Erotic Leadership, we cover the Arousal Cycle in greater depth.
And we learn how our sexual conditioning gets in the way of sparking the flame of desire.
If you’re curious about what else we cover, keep reading this series of posts,
or read more about the program here.
Your intimacy guide,
Sanne
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She stopped wanting him. Here’s why.
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