19d • General discussion
Sneaky Feelings
I had an interview today. It went well. I will probably like the job and do well at it. But when my boyfriend asked how it went, I burst into tears. Why? Because I had a realization that I most likely won’t be able to stay home with my kids when they eventually come along. I was raised by a single mother and taught how to be a super parent and an ace in corporate America. That’s what I was trained for: to do it all. It never occurred to me that I would want to stay home with babies or that I would feel such grief at the loss of an opportunity I didn’t know I wanted. When I tried to explain this sensation to my boyfriend, he gently explained that what I was saying was insane since we don’t even have kids yet and I was thinking too far down the road. Maybe that is true. But I don’t think I’m the only woman to feel this way and even if I am, I believe that I’m allowed to be sad about it. Despite the fact that I need the job and I’ll do the job and I’ll probably be really good at it- I’m allowed to grateful for that opportunity and sad at the same time for a door closing. Just thought I’d share in case anyone can relate.
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Sneaky Feelings
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