Hi friends, We will NOT be having a Q&A call tomorrow as I'm traveling (we are going to Disney world!). I will see you all next Thursday at 4pm EST! Much love, Kave

There’s an idea quietly making marriages miserable… and most of us don’t even question it. The idea that marriage is supposed to make us happy. That if we picked the right person, it should feel mostly easy. Mostly natural. Mostly compatible. Mostly fulfilling. That our partner should understand us. Choose us. Desire us. Support us. Regulate us. Make life feel lighter. And if they don’t? If the relationship feels hard… If the same argument keeps coming back… If we feel lonely next to the person we love… If we start wondering, “Shouldn’t I be happier than this?”… then maybe something is wrong. With them. With us. With the marriage. I believed this too. I thought the point of marriage was happiness. And underneath that, I thought the point of choosing a partner was compatibility. Find the person who gets you, shares your values, and makes you laugh. Find the person who doesn’t trigger all your old wounds. And listen — compatibility matters. Shared values matter. Laughter matters. Attraction, friendship, ease, playfulness… all of that matters. But compatibility is not enough to build a marriage that can hold a lifetime. Because eventually, even the “right” person will disappoint you. They will hurt you. They will let you down. They will say the thing too harshly. They will poke an old wound without meaning to. They will have needs that contradict your needs. They will have pain that makes them blind to yours. And suddenly the person who once felt like your peace… starts feeling like the source of your pain. So then we move to the next level --> Connection. We think, “Okay, maybe marriage isn’t about being happy all the time. Maybe it’s about staying connected.” So we work on communication. Date nights. Repair. Vulnerability. Love languages. Conflict tools. Emotional bids. Quality time. And all of that matters too. Connection is beautiful. Connection is necessary. Connection is oxygen. But it still isn’t the deepest purpose of marriage. Because connection can come and go.

Doors are officially open for "Untriggerable" - my 6-week program for *physicians* (all genders) who want to stop getting hijacked in conflict, So you can solve disagreements easily - without yelling, shutting down or walking on eggshells. If home feels tense too often and you’re tired of having the same arguments over and over... ...this might be for you. 15 spots only. Check out all the details and enroll here: Untriggerable - Program details P.S: First 5 folks get $500 off. Please share this with friends and family who might be interested (Physicians only. CME: 20 AMA PRA Category 1 credits available.)