Hi friend, I'm working on something special for you. Can you help me by voting in this poll, so I know what tools to add in it?

I-statements are the rage. But just because your favorite couples therapist or that Gottman book mentioned it, doesn't mean it's the best place for you to start. If you get triggered the minute a special someone gets snippy, passive-aggressive or annoyed at you, I-statements will NOT help. At best, you'll say the right words but your tone and body language will ring alarm bells in the person next to you, and they get defensive. And at worst, you'll start with the word I, but end with blame or sarcasm....aaaand they get defensive. See once you are triggered, it's too late. The wheels are already loose and there's no way to stop the train from hurtling off a cliff. The work then is to >> not get triggered in the first place << In other words, to become UNTRIGGERABLE. There's only 3 ways for you to get there: Let's break them down, then help you figure out which is best for you. This is a crucial decision if you want to stop escalating and repairing over and over (with every episode building a wall of resentment and mistrust) // THE THREE WAYS TO BECOMING UNTRIGGERABLE: 1. COUPLES TALK THERAPY/COACHING What is it: You find a couples therapist and work on communication skills every week in a joint setting. Pros: You are doing the work together, so interactions can be caught in real time. Cons: In an already distressed relationship, joint sessions quickly escalate and the therapist spends the hour playing referee whilst trying to make sense of the latest argument. It takes a painfully LONG time to create real change. // 2. INDIVIDUAL TALK THERAPY/COACHING What is it: You speak to an individual therapist every week to gain deeper insight into your patterns, past and psyche. Pros: It's comforting. You have someone in your corner (sometimes for the first time ever) and it feels good to be understood. Growing self-awareness and learning to have your own back is gratifying. Cons: You rarely get challenged. Since the individual therapist often has not seen you interact with them in real time, they can't diagnose your blind spots or growth edges. Plus when you come home and get triggered, all the tools your therapist taught you go out the window.

things feel different the tides are shifting something new is coming

Hi everyone! I’m Toska and I’m a Pediatric Hematologist Oncologist in Southern CA. I was blessed to take Kave’s class during Covid 2020. While the world around me fell apart, the world inside my heart and brain found peace and calm. I became a more grounded person because of Kave. Naturally, I had to join this sisterhood! I’m a big movie fan, watch all of the Oscar movies, and I really loved Hamnet this year. I’m also a big reader and am part of a book club. I just finished Wally Lamb’s River is Waiting, and I liked it very much. ❤️

Guys and gals, We just adopted an 8 week old puppy - meet Cocoa. Wait...whose d*mbass idea was it again to be picking up poop at my age?? 💩👵 Luckily, he is super cute. 😍 Any other pet parents? Share a pic (Cocoa wants to make some friends) 👇