1d (edited) • Red Flag Pattern of the Day
Blame Shift → Silent Treatment
Red Flag Pattern of the Day
This pattern often follows an unresolved issue.
You raise a concern.
They deflect responsibility.
And when the conversation doesn’t go their way…
They disappear.
Messages go unanswered.
Replies turn cold or minimal.
Communication stops entirely.
What’s happening?
The silence isn’t neutral. It's leverage.
Instead of addressing the issue, withdrawal:
- punishes you for speaking up
- forces you to seek reconnection
- shifts the power dynamic
When contact resumes, the original issue is usually ignored — as if silence “reset” the conversation.
The effect over time:
This teaches you:
- honesty risks abandonment
- conflict leads to isolation
- silence is something you must prevent
That’s not space-taking.That’s control through absence.
Pattern check:
This pattern may be present if:
- silence follows accountability requests
- you feel pressure to apologize just to restore contact
- nothing ever gets resolved once communication resumes
Silence becomes the consequence.
Optional reflection (no pressure):
- What usually happens right before the silence starts?
- What are you expected to do to make it end?
Reading is participation.
Patterns don’t lie.
People do.
— Kim
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Blame Shift → Silent Treatment
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