Nov 2 (edited) • General discussion
Trusting yourself and being honest with yourself - Boss and worker
------------------------TRUSTING YOURSELF----------------------
What does that even mean, to "trust yourself"?
I can only give you my model of trusting yourself (Which I think is far from perfect):
You are your own Boss and you are your own worker.
Work you give yourself, that you want to take care of: That's your [boss you], giving work to your [worker you].
Work you complete for yourself: That's your [worker you], working for your [boss you].
In a practical example: You say to yourself "I want to eat an apple today". That's your [boss you], giving your [worker you] the job to eat an apple today. And eventually doing it, that's your [worker you], doing the job, that your [boss you] gave you.
So if your [boss you] gives your [worker you] a task, how little and short it may be: Does your [boss you] trust your [worker you], that he/she will finish the job in the frame given?
That trust, that your [boss you] has for your [worker you], that's your trust you have in yourself.
So, do you trust yourself?
(Btw, Jordan Peterson once said "You are a bad worker and a worse boss". This quote has not really anything to do with this topic here but I still wanted to mention it because it's so true and it fits into those roles. Most of the times, we are lazy bitchasses ([worker you]) and then we even punish ourselves badly ([boss you]) for being lazy bitchasses instead of motivating, helping to improve, etc..)
-------------------------------BEING HONEST WITH YOURSELF----------------------
The same "[boss you]-[worker you]" principle goes for being honest with yourself as well.
How honest your [worker you] is to your [boss you], that's how honest you are to yourself.
In a practical example: You don't finish your task in time and now you tell yourself: "That's because of the ... and I had no time and yadayadayada", when in reality you absolutely had time, but just no fucking desire to do the task.
That's your [worker you], lying to your [boss you]. And your boss you knows it and punishes your [worker you] by being mean. That's what we call "being harsh on yourself".
So, how honest are you with yourself?
Appart from this "boss-worker" model, an other way of being able to know, how much you are honest with yourself is just how much you really mean, what you are saying.
If you say "yes, I believe you", just that the other person is quiet. That's lying to yourself, because you don't mean it.
Or even just saying "I'm sorry", but you aren't that's not being honest to yourself.
Now, let me ask you this:
- If you don't even trust yourself, how could you ever expect someone else to trust you?
- If you aren't even honest with yourself, how could you ever expect someone else to take the things seriously, you're saying?
....
You can't, because you know yourself, that even you yourself can't take yourself seriously or can't be honest with yourself.
That's why it's really important to being able to trust yourself and being able to take yourself seriously.
Because if you are not able to, you can not ever expect a single person to treat you like you are trustworthy or honest.
So, how can I start to trust myself more?
How can I start to being more honest with myself?
- DON'T EVER SAY SOMETHING YOU DON'T MEAN. And if you accidentally do (because it's been a habit and habits don't change as fast), just correct yourself and say "Well no if I think about it, it's actually...". That's how you prove yourself that you are honest with yourself. That way you WILL start being more honest to yourself.
- HAVE A WORD OF IRON. Or in other terms: Stick to your words. You said it, now it is 100% going to happen. That's how much you want your word to be true. That's how you prove yourself, that you can trust yourself. That way you WILL start trusting yourself more.
A part of this goes back to being honest with yourself. Don't tell yourself a lie, that you can't fulfill, because your trust in yourself will take damage, if you're not able to fulfill it.
When I found myself excercising those 2 things, not only did my confidence go up (because I trusted my word), but also my pride went up (because I knew I was just honest with people and what I said, I meant. And just by the way, you can also be silent instead of saying an honest-mean thing to somebody)
As a fellow christian, I want to finish todays post with a verse of the Bible:
"but let your “yes” be “yes”, and your “no”, “no”, so that you don’t fall into hypocrisy"
- Jacob 5:12
Have a good week :)
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Trusting yourself and being honest with yourself - Boss and worker
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