Peace, everyone. I hope you are all doing well as the fall weather approaches. I want to share my healing journey with y'all and be vulnerable. In 2016-2017, I went through a heartbreak relationship, and it changed the trajectory of my whole life. Fast forward to last year; I was in a relationship and was betrayed, which compromised my trust. This recent experience didn't make sense to me. I dedicated 9 years to healing, improving, and elevating, and yet I still got messed over… or, as they say, “You are what you attract.” I realized that all the spiritual concepts we learn can be an ego feed and can become a form of spiritual bypassing, and this is why it didn't make sense. Because I thought that if I studied and applied some spiritual concepts and worked on my personal development, my next partner would reflect that. In some ways… she did. However, the truth is that I still needed to heal what was unhealed, and that was more apparent than anything else. That last relationship made me realize, “you attract what needs to be mirrored to you.” I never healed my childhood trauma in my 9 years of healing. At least not directly. Once I discovered the recurring root of my relational pain… I delved straight into it and didn't come up for air for about 2 months. Childhood trauma is the root cause of all dysfunctional relationships. Other factors are also present, such as your attachment style, self-perception, and self-worth. Etc. Today, I've reflected on both experiences and realized that this was my karma after the fact. I'm very grateful for both of these experiences. I wanted to share that with you all because I also know that we all have similar wounds, experiences, and behaviors that we may hide and that are often untold. Everyone in the group has a story that I know I resonate with... Because there will be no group, otherwise. If you are currently going through any relationship, grieving, heartache, or pain. I'm here for you, and I want you to know that the journey is enriching. Especially when you can take ownership of what you didn't know, forgive yourself, and cultivate the bravery to confront and integrate your childhood wounds. I just wanted to share a part of my main story with y'all. I would love to hear y'all's stories, if you’re open. Sending you much love, and we’ll be starting a new challenge soon.

Alright everyone. Here is the second part of this challenge. After 14 days of saying, “NO” to people, places and things. You may have discovered a pattern. The pattern is several narratives or feelings that you’ve experienced after saying NO. Step.1 Write down in a notebook, what those narratives or feelings are that have been consistent. Example: Every time I said NO, I heard a narrative of, “ They not gon like you or I’ll get a feeling of wanting to take it back. Write this down. Step.2 Write a letter to your people pleaser or this narratives and ask a series of questions to discover the root of your people pleaser. These narratives will support you in your practice. Step.3 How to write the letter: On a piece of paper, begin a conversation with your people pleaser by using your dominant hand and your people pleaser (inner child) will respond back to you with the less dominant hand. When asking questions; allow your intuition to be your guidance. Beginner questions: 1. How old are you? 2. When did you start people pleasing? 3. Why did you start people pleasing? 4. What do you need to stop people pleasing? 5. What parent created your people-pleasing identity? Example: (Using my dominant hand which is my right hand.) 1. With my right hand: I write the first question: I want to connect with my people pleaser, how old are you? Then, take a deep breath and exhale. Remain present, and allow any inclinations, sensations, or verbal responses to come through. 2. Next, switch the pen or pencil to the less dominate hand and write back a response. This is all intuitive. Allow the responses to come. 3. Continue to write back and forward with each other until you discover the route of your people pleasing. 4. Next, tell your Innerchild. They no longer have to people-please to feel safe. Give them reassurance and let them know that they’re safe, protected, and accepted. Share any form of healing language to let them know they can let go of this identity. 1. Do this for the next 7 days. Let me know when you have completed this exercise. So, we can complete the entire practice. Please respond, “finished.” When you are done.

Peace, everyone. I just wanted to share some insight on appeasement. To be clear, people-pleasing is not a personality trait or characteristic. People-pleasing is a learned behavior that was adopted as a child to cope with overwhelming experiences. For instance, my people-pleaser was developed due to my dad physically, emotionally, and verbally abusing me. As a protective mechanism, I learned to people-please, meaning I shifted the behavior that my dad, Dean, considered unacceptable into a more likable behavior. We are animals first and humans second; therefore, the human body would do everything to survive. The problem is that we still operate from this behavior and relationships with others. There is a little girl or a little boy inside us that still thinks, and believes that they have to show up in this way to be accepted, loved, and safe. I am here to tell you that you can unburden and let go of this part of yourself and live more authentically. 🙏🏿✨✨

We are closer to a week into the “SAYING NO” practice. I hope everyone is standing on business and aware of this energy called “people pleasing.” If you haven’t discovered yet, this energy has its own consciousness. Everything in nature has its own level of intelligence. Therefore, this energy will try to continue its existence through people, places, and things. This is considered spiritual warfare. You’re battling against an opposing force in the unseen. The more you keep this simple practice, the more that energy loses power over you. This practice activates the spiritual warrior within you! Keep the consistency, discipline, and momentum going! I believe in you!

Peace everyone, today we will start the people pleasing challenge! If you can join, please drop a comment below. If not, stay tuned for the next challenge. 😎 Instructions for the people-pleasing challenge: Here is the definition of people pleasing: People pleasing is when someone puts others’ needs, wants, or approval above their own, often at the cost of their own well-being. For the next 14 days: Step 1. For the next 14 days, everyone starts practicing saying “NO” to every opportunity, request, or demand that isn't in alignment with your personal interests. Step 2. Next, bring awareness to the habit of over-explaining your reason for not wanting to participate in the activity. Why is this important? Because if you try to explain your reasons for saying no, the other person, place, or thing can utilize those reasons and try to manipulate and change your mind. Remember, saying “No” is a complete sentence. Step 3. Once you have expressed “NO” to whatever is requesting your attention. Bring your awareness to your mental narratives. What are they expressing to you? For example, I said “NO” to a coworker who wanted me to do something I didn't feel comfortable with. I walked off, and that voice in my head started telling me, “She is going to tell other coworkers how you really are,” etc.This started to make me feel anxious and a little guilty. Step 4: Once the story or narrative is externalized, try to write down, memorize, or audio record in your phone what your narrative is stating to you. You will continue this practice for 14 days.(Sept 2- 16) Step 5: In the group, post “NO” for the next 14 days; if you told someone “NO” for that day. If you haven't told nobody “NO,” you can still post in the group for group support and encouragment. This will also keep you accountable for this challenge. *** This challenge will end on September 16 and we will continue with the second half of this challenge. I will provide further instructions after this challenge is complete. ***