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Are you a leader, really?
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How Great Leaders Think: Using NLP to Model Excellence in the Workplace
Introduction
Imagine being able to “decode” how the most inspiring leaders think, communicate and make decisions – and then learn to do the same, in your own authentic way. That is essentially what NLP modelling offers. In this article we’ll explore how modelling works, why it matters in the modern workplace, and how you can begin using it in your own leadership journey with Toby and Kate McCartney.
What NLP Modelling Actually Is
NLP modelling is the process of studying how someone achieves a particular result – not just what they do, but how they think, what they believe, and how they use language and physiology.
Instead of copying the surface behaviour (“they’re confident” or “they’re decisive”), we become curious about the inner patterns that drive that behaviour.
Key elements include:
- Internal strategies: the sequence of thoughts, images, sounds and feelings a person runs inside.
- Beliefs and values: what they hold to be true and important.
- Physiology: posture, breathing, gestures, facial expressions, voice tone.
When we teach NLP, we often emphasise that modelling is about curiosity rather than ‘copying’. You are not trying to become a clone of someone else; you’re extracting what works, then adapting it to fit who you are.
Why Modelling Matters for Leadership
Today’s leaders are expected to handle complexity, uncertainty and constant change. Reading another leadership book can be useful, but it doesn’t always translate into real behaviour. Modelling, however, lets you build practical patterns that you can actually run in your nervous system.
For example, you might model:
- How a particular leader stays calm under pressure.
- How a colleague asks difficult questions without triggering defensiveness.
- How a mentor frames setbacks as learning rather than failure.
By modelling, you’re essentially installing new “inner software” for leadership.
Here’s a simple modelling process you can try
Here is a straightforward way to start:
1. Choose your model.
Pick someone you genuinely respect – they could be a senior leader, a colleague, or even Toby or Kate in a specific context.
2. Define the outcome.
Be precise. Are you modelling how they handle conflict, how they present, or how they make decisions?
3. Observe their behaviour carefully.
Notice their posture, breathing, gestures, eye contact, tone of voice and language patterns. What do they do differently from others?
4. Elicit their internal process.
When you can, ask questions such as:
- “What do you focus on when you’re in that situation?”
- “What do you say to yourself?”
- “What’s important to you when you make that decision?”
5. Recreate the pattern in yourself.
Step into their posture, breathing and focus. Run the sequence in your own body and mind. Adjust it until it feels natural and useful.
6. Test and refine.
Try the new pattern in low‑risk situations first. Notice what works, tweak what doesn’t, and integrate your own style.
Bringing Modelling into Your NLP Study
When you study NLP with us, you’ll see modelling in action. Watch how we build rapport with the group, how we handle challenging questions, and how we give feedback. Use your training as a live laboratory: you’re not only learning techniques, you’re modelling the skill of NLP in the moment.
You might even choose one aspect of our teaching – for example, how I tell funny stories (or at least try to make them funny), or how Kate asks precise questions – and model that deliberately over the course of your times with us.
Closing Thought
Great leadership is not an accident. It’s a set of learnable patterns. With NLP modelling, you can shorten your learning curve by studying excellence directly, and then building your own authentic version of it.
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Are you a leader, really?
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