Outcasted for how my mind works · New Earth Community

Outcasted for how my mind works

It’s not easy to be a creative with a real, full-on, mental disorder. What I have is no joke. I was diagnosed with bipolar one disorder after being hospitalized for a psychotic manic episode back in 2016. The trigger came from constant nightmares after having suffered several environmental traumas happening in succession that resulted in PTSD, which was my original diagnosis. But what was underneath was the fact that I am a person with an actual disability. People are afraid of what they don't understand, and I can very easily be misunderstood.

As a result of my diagnosis, and really it’s because I’ve had several other hospitalizations in my recent past, (the last being in November 2025), I haven’t worked a regular job in public since 2021. Thankfully for me, I’ve been pretty savvy with my savings and have been able to live in the redwood forest of Sonoma County with my partner, the artist, Ethan Cranke, for some time. But time has a way of nudging one into their purpose when one least expects it, and I feel that now is my time to step into my place in this world.

When I first saw

@Thor Aarsand

, I could tell he knew who he was in a way that is not unlike how I know myself, -as a luminary, a creator, a visionary. And, like Thor, I have a god-like name. “Rena” is a name for Irene, the Greek goddess of Peace, whom I was named after. “Nicole” means “victory of the people”.

Because of how my brain works and the difficulties I have with my memory because of my disorder, I leverage many Ai tools to help me with my creativity. I’ve written a book called “The Goddess of Peace: The Epic Journey of Rena Nicole” which you can find by that title in Etsy. It’s about an 11-year-old girl who finds inner peace despite deep feelings of grief and loss. She comes out the other side having a new-found energy and excitement for her own becoming.

More than anything else, I am a storyteller, and I figured I’d share my own story first before sharing hers. Who she grows into is me. Now a peer support specialist who facilitates online groups of people with mental health challenges, weaves personalized stories for people using my own GPTs, and the author of “The Goddess of Peace” book series, I am stepping into my place by creating 🌎✌🏽🕊🎶 by just being myself. Sometimes I have to apologize for my way of being, because there are just some things I do not understand. But I can get better with support from a loving community like this one. My hope is that I am no longer an outcast because of the stigma around my very real condition. My hope is that I’ve found my tribe. My hope is that through this platform, I can truly serve the people I am meant to serve.

Attached for your entertainment is a video I created using Sora that depicts elements from both my first book and the second of the series, compiled into a series of simultaneous events that happened all at the same time for me during a manic awakening. I hope you enjoy it. 😊 🌎✌🏽🕊🎶 🖖🏽

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