Kundalini Awakening leads to questioning sexuality and divorce

Before:

I was in a happy relationship, good career working in the hospital, and very much in the matrix. I was following all the rules and building my dream life. I thought I was happy. I was drinking heavily on weekends with friends and thought that was normal.

Crisis:

I got engaged and started to fix myself externally for my wedding and got really into comparison on social media. I started a new job that was not much of a challenge and I was on my phone most of the day. I was having gut issues. Then my seizures started. It was extreme dissociation/freeze and it happened after I would go against myself. Especially if I did not speak up or do something that would please others instead of myself. I didn't know and understand what was happening at the time. Also, deep sadness and lots of tears started to come after nights of drinking. I felt lonely but could not understand why while my Fiance was sitting next to me. I couldn't remember much from childhood because I suppressed it. I silenced my inner child to follow the rules of society and religion. I eventually had this thought that “oh no, i might be a lesbian and I never found out- do i tell my fiance? I didn't and kept it a secret, scared that he might leave me. I went ahead with the wedding.

Chase:

I started therapy and meditation. Then went to Bali for my honeymoon and came across an event of kundalini activation (I had no idea what I was in for). I had a full on kundalini awakening that changed everything. My whole world felt like it went upside down in one day. I didn't know who I was. I needed to isolate and find myself. I had to travel solo and heal lots of my trauma- inner child trauma. I left my marriage because my heart and intuition told me to. We were no longer aligned. I didn't think he would wake up or accept me. I felt that if I stayed- I wouldn't have grown into who I am now- I wouldn't be living my truth- it felt that I would have still lived his life and my life as a lie. My values changed. I also needed to understand my sexuality and to explore women intimately, which he wasn't able to accept. I also shifted my mindset, did energy work, started my own business- somatic coaching and financial freedom platform, and grew a lot through relationships and business

Conflict:

After leaving my marriage- I felt the deep pain of walking away from a life that I wanted and the dream of being a mother and having a husband because it is still my dream. Walking away from someone who loved me and being single and navigating how to feel love again. Trying to love myself when I never knew how. Starting a business and having all the doubts, fears and challenges come. Feeling the rejection, the pain, the loneliness, the lack of support, feeling alone, doing it alone. I found strength in self love. Just coming back and back to loving myself and my little girl. Reparenting her.

Breakthrough:

It all shifted on my honeymoon after my kundalini awakening. I realized I was living in someone else's life and didn't know who I was (questioning sexuality). I followed the direction of everyone else and didn't actually choose my own path from inner knowing but from what could be the safest and normal for society. I just wanted to be financially safe and loved. I chose a life fueled by money- a career that paid well, a man who made a lot of money, I was very frugal and didn't spend what I earned- always ordering the cheaper option on the menu with a scarcity mindset (even though I had more than enough).

After:

I am now in love with myself, divorced, free, traveler, and entrepreneur. I serve by showing up authentically, sharing my truth, my energy, my stories, my mindset shifts. I guide others to truly find their way through listening to their own truth through somatic coaching and a financial abundance opportunity-so they can live a life full of abundance and alignment.

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