I’m realizing i’ve been unintentionally abandoning the very thing I love. My heart honestly sank today how reckless I’ve been with my creativity. I say music matters to me… but I don’t protect it. I don’t schedule it. I don’t defend time for it. I don’t sit down with clear tasks. I don’t build consistent action. Instead, I wait for some ridiculous alignment of enough energy, enough inspiration, right mood. No distractions. Perfect mental weather. Such day never comes. NEVER. Why I keep expecting it to happen by itself? And why this constant negotiation before starting when music always loses? Every single day there’s a lot of intention but NO action. It feels like another quiet betrayal of something I deeply care about. What also hurts is realizing I’ve been hiding. Hiding in preparation. Hiding in overthinking. And of course, hiding in consumption mode. Constantly watching, learning, scrolling, collecting ideas… without creating. As if consuming content somehow counts as making music. It doesn’t. This realization honestly made me emotional these days. i never built a life that protects it. So I should stop waiting for magic and start building it now.