Thank you for the last two breakthrough labs. They’ve been incredibly helpful for me as I sort through this phase of life. A year ago I was blessed with the opportunity to release any responsibility to contribute to our family finances. A beautiful blessing. But it also feels like a curse. (Though I know it’s not). A blessing in that I’ve let go of all the parts of my business that don’t bring me joy, been able to rest when this perimenoupause body demands it and be present for my oldest daughter when she welcomed our first grandbaby. ❤️❤️❤️ A curse- I’ve felt lost for most of the last year. Who am I without the roles and responsibilities I used to have? (I do still have some as I still have a 15 year old at home.🤪) who am I if I’m not achieving the same level of “success”, making the same level of output etc etc. ( I know the true answer to that but it doesn’t mean my ego doesn’t have something else to say about it.🤣 Or that I don’t feel the gap) And also a blessing because I have the freedom and space to ponder, consider and even play with who do I want to be now? How do I want to show up in the world? How do I want to run my business? Who do I want to work with? And also these same questions have felt like a curse. The last year felt huge to me in terms of transitions. Remarried, moved into a dream home, became a grandma and graduated another high schooler. 😅 At times, it’s felt like too much. And also- so much I’m grateful for. I watched my oldest, the one I chose a different life for and because of, become a mom. I watched her navigate mothering with patience and grace, even during her most exhausted moments. And couldn’t help but see how full circle my life had come and even the reason I began my own personal development journey- so that she had a better chance at life, being a present and patient mom and most of all- being ready to be a parent. I still get emotional thinking about this! 😭 Back to the blessing/curse dilemma- my identity has been whipped around over the last 6 years. And while I feel like I’m making my way out of the dust, those same questions feel like a curse because I know I’m required to answer them from a different version of me.

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