Mar 21 • Free Series
Post 4 of Disrespect Week..CONSEQUENCES.
THIS WILL BE A LOT TO READ... Love Y'all
Taking a phone is not a system.
These kids will sit on the floor and play with dust if you take everything away, they truly don't care lol.
So if your only consequence is removing something…you’re not building anything in them.
We’re not just taking things…we’re building discipline, responsibility, and character.
Alright parents… today we’re getting into CONSEQUENCES.
Not “go sit down.”
Not “write it 5 times.”
Not empty threats.
We’re talking about consequences that actually correct behavior and build discipline.
Because let’s be real…
If the consequence doesn’t cost them something,
it won’t change anything.
Consequences are not about anger.
They are about training.
You are not trying to “get back” at your child.
You are teaching them:
Your actions have weight!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Ages 3–7)
Let’s get this right early.
Because what you don’t correct at 3…
you will fight at 13.
This age group is where everything starts.
These kids are moving FAST.
Emotionally. Physically. Mentally.
So your first job is not yelling.
Your first job is to SLOW THEM DOWN.
Step 1: Stop the moment immediately
Example:
Sarah slaps her little brother.
You don’t lecture.
You don’t yell across the room.
You move.
Separate her.
“Sarah, sit down.”
That’s it.
No long talking.
Step 2: Sit them down and walk away
Do NOT call it timeout.
Do NOT make it a whole speech.
Just sit them down and step away.
Why?
Because right now they are in emotion.
And kids in emotion are not listening anyway.
Step 3: Set the timer
This is where structure comes in.
• 3–5 years old → 5 minutes
• 6 years old → 6 minutes
• 7 years old → 7 minutes
If they are doing THE MOST?
10–15 minutes.... I like 15 lol
Step 4: Do NOT reward chaos
If you come back and they are:
crying
screaming
rolling around
You say:
“I will start your timer when you are calm.”
And you walk away again.
Because we are not rewarding emotional chaos with attention.
Step 5: Now you teach (SHORTTTT and clear)
Once they are calm, you go back.
And now you speak.
Keep it SHORT.
“Why did you hit your brother?”
“Do we hit?”
“What should you have done?”
" The Bible tells us"(Figure it out on google while they are sitting and timer is on)
Make them repeat it back to you.
If they can’t repeat it…
They didn’t learn it.
RESTART.....
Step 6: Consequence = Action
You don’t just talk.
You give them something to DO.
And not something easy.
Something that requires:
effort
focus
movement
Examples:
• clean up toys (even if they didn’t make the mess)
• wipe things down
• help you clean
• pick up and organize
For a 3-5 year-old:
“You’re going to clean up while I clean up.” pick up toys etc
No talking.
Just working.
Step 7: Do it WITH them (not yelling at them)
You are not standing over them barking orders.
You are right there.
Working.
Leading.
Showing them:
“This is what happens when we make wrong choices.”
Step 8: THEN explain
After the work is done now you connect it.
“Because you hit, you had to stop, sit, and work.”
This is a consequence... A Consequence is
Simple.
Clear.
No long speech.
Step 9: As they grow, increase responsibility
As they get older, you level it up:
• writing sentences
• simple scriptures
• sweeping
• organizing
• helping with real responsibilities
It doesn’t have to be perfect.
That’s not the goal.
The goal is: effort + accountability
(Ages 8–12)
Now we’re dealing with a different child.
This is not the baby stage anymore.
At this age…
_they KNOW better
_they understand instructions
_they test boundaries on purpose
So now we shift from just slowing them down…
to building ACCOUNTABILITY.
Step 1: Stop it immediately
Disrespect happens.
Talking back.
Ignoring you.
Attitude.
You don’t argue....
You don’t go back and forth.
You say:
“Stop.
That’s it.
Step 2: Sit them down (no conversation yet)
Have them sit....30 min
No phone.
No distractions.
Let them sit.
YOU MUST NOT SHOW EMOTIONSSSSSSSSSSSS........
Step 3: Short correction (not a lecture)
Now you speak.
And keep it tight.
“What you just did was disrespectful.”
“Do you understand what you did?”
Make them answer.
If they shrug, act like they don’t know, or play dumb?
RESET TIMER!
You hold them there until they answer.
Because now we’re teaching:
ownership
Make them SAY it back
“I was disrespectful because…”
If they can’t say it…
They’re not leaving that moment.
We’re not raising kids who say:
“I don’t know.”
DON'T say:
“We’ll deal with this later.”
No.
We deal with it NOW.
Because delayed correction teaches:
“This isn’t serious.”
Step 4: Consequence must require effort
At this age, “go sit down” is weak on its own
They need something that:
_costs energy
_ requires focus
_takes time at least 30-45 min
Examples:
• cleaning baseboards
• wiping cabinets
• organizing drawers/closets
• sweeping and mopping
• cleaning areas they didn’t touch
idk make up something... go walk the goldfish lol
Not punishment.
responsibility
Step 5: No talking while doing it
This part is important
They don’t complain........go sit down and start this process over with another responsibility added
They don’t argue.........go sit down and start this process over with another responsibility added
They don’t negotiate.........go sit down and start this process over with another responsibility added
We are teaching:
discipline over emotion
Step 6: Connect the behavior AFTER
Once the task is done, now you say:
“Because you chose disrespect, this was your consequence.”
Simple.
Clear.
No speech.
Step 7: Add reflection (this is new at this age)
Now we start building thinking.
You can say:
“What will you do differently next time?”
or have them write:
• what they did
• what they should’ve done
This builds:
awareness + accountability
Step 8: Consistency or it won’t work
If you only do this when you’re in the mood…
this system will fail.
Kids at this age study patterns.
If the boundary moves…
they will move with it
(Ages 13–17)
At this stage… your child is getting real close to adulthood.
And if we don’t get this right now, we are not raising strong adults…
we are raising entitled, emotionally unstable individuals who think the world revolves around them.
And that’s not happening in our homes
First..... The pattern is the same
Everything we’ve already talked about still applies:
✔ stop the behavior immediately
✔ slow them down
✔ address it clearly
✔ give a consequence
✔ follow through
The system doesn’t change.
The LEVEL does.
This age group will test you DIFFERENT
Now you’ll hear things like:
“I’m not doing that.”
“You can’t make me.”
“I don’t care.”
They do NOT get to decide what they will and will not do.
You are still the parent.
This is not a negotiation!!!!
Stop being afraid to stand on authority
Some parents back down the moment a child pushes back.
Why?
Because it’s uncomfortable.
Because they don’t want conflict.
Because the child gets louder.
You are not here to be liked in that moment.
You are here to lead.
Im sorry for this next one
Entitlement didn’t come from nowhere
Let’s talk truth.
Some of these kids feel entitled because we created the environment for it.
We gave:
phones
snacks
constant comfort
no real structure
So now when you remove it, they act shocked.
Your child is not entitled to extras.
They are entitled to:
✔ food
✔ shelter
✔ clothing
✔ care
That’s it.
Everything else?
Is a privilege.
And privileges can be removed.
Stop negotiating basic authority
If your child says:
“I’m not doing it.”
And you respond with:
“Please?”
“Come on.”
“Just do it.”
You already lost the moment.
Instead say
"This is not optional.”
And you stand on it.
Even if it takes time.
Even if they sit there.
Even if they’re upset.
🔥 Consequences hit different at this age
Now we’re not just correcting behavior.
-We are preparing them for real life.
Consequences look like:
• loss of privileges
• restricted freedom
• increased responsibility
STOP PAYING THAT PHONE BILL AND CHANGE THE WIFI CODE LOL JKJK... Im serious
Because in the real world?
Disrespect costs.
One thing you MUST do at this age
This is important.
You don’t do it in the heat of discipline…
But you MUST come back later and talk.
Now you ask:
“What were you feeling?”
“Why did you respond like that?”
“What could you have done differently?”
"The Bible Says:
This is where you build:
emotional intelligence
self-awareness
maturity
We are not raising kids who run the house.
We are raising young adults who understand:
✔ respect
✔ authority
✔ responsibility
And sometimes that means standing firm even when they push back.
This week’s focus:
Stop backing down.
Stop negotiating.
Stand on what you said.
And build the kind of character they’ll need when you’re not there.
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Post 4 of Disrespect Week..CONSEQUENCES.
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