In this episode I talk about unresolved trauma and what it’s like, living with it. I cover silence in Pasifika families, why so many of our people don’t use counselling, how trauma shows up in reactions and habits, and how it leaks into relationships and parenting. I also talk about coming face to face with the man who abused me decades later, how close I came to reacting violently, what stopped me, and how much my unhealed trauma shaped the way I parented Key takeaways from this episode • Trauma doesn’t disappear with time, it stays within you and shows up in reactions, not just memories. • Silence doesn’t make pain go away. • Triggers can still hit hard decades later. • Healing doesn’t remove feelings, it changes how you respond to them. • Violence can feel like release, but it’s a relapse. • How unhealed trauma builds habits like over-apologising, people-pleasing, hyper-vigilance and emotional shutdown. • The stuff that follows you into relationships and parenting. • Facing the impact of my own unhealed shit. • Awareness is where change actually starts and understanding that you can’t outgrow what you won’t face. If you want to join the talanoa, here are some potential starting points: • What part of this episode stood out to you? • Where do you see unresolved stuff showing up in your life now? • Was silence part of how things were handled in your family? • Have you noticed habits or reactions that make more sense looking at them through trauma? • Did anything in this episode make you reflect on your relationships or your parenting? • What’s something you’re more aware of about yourself now than you were a few years ago? Share as much or as little as you want.

This episode focuses on grief, especially after losing my Mum. I speak about how grief actually shows up, the different forms it takes, how culture can complicate it, what anticipatory grief felt like, what the months after Mum passed were really like, and how that season eventually reshaped how I live and what I’m building now. Key takeaways from this episode • Grief isn’t only about death. It’s about loss in many forms, and it shows up emotionally, physically, and in behaviour. • Cultural expectations can make grieving harder, and anticipatory grief carries its own weight. • Watching someone you love grieve is its own kind of pain. • Stages of grief don’t happen neatly or in order. • High-functioning depression is still depression. • Guilt sitting inside grief and needing to be worked through. • Time, talking, reflection, and safe connection actually matter. • Acceptance doesn’t mean you’re okay. It means you’re facing it. • This season of grief changed how I live and what I’m building. If you want to join the talanoa, here's some starting points: • What kind of losses have shaped you? • How does grief show up for you? • Did culture or family expectations affect how you were allowed to grieve? • Have you experienced anticipatory grief or high-functioning depression? • What was the hardest part of losing someone for you? • What helped you get through the early months? • Did grief change how you live, love, parent, or see yourself? Share as much or as little as you want.

This was my first podcast episode. To me it's so cringe - lol, so unpolished, unprofessional yet its still authentic to its core This episode "Grief, Rage and a Woman Rising" walks through chapters in my life: Childhood, Abuse, Rage, Faith, Loss, My relationship with my Mum and where I am now. Some takeaways that stood out for me, were: – Trauma shows up in behaviour when its unaddressed – Family silence protects harm. – Safe relationships can be built later in life. – Healing is slow, messy, and not linear. – Faith doesn’t cancel anger. – Surviving and healing are not the same thing. If you want to add to the talanoa, here are a few things you might want to start with: • What part of the story landed for you? • Did anger show up before grief in your life? • What wasn’t spoken about in your family? • Did losing someone change how you see your childhood? • When did you realise you were surviving, not living? • Was there anything I spoke about that actually helped — even a little? You don’t have to share details or even explain yourself

This episode marked my return to Kaisa Khronicles and the beginning of a new season for this space. The messages I wanted to share in this episode were: • Healing isn’t a destination, it's s a journey • Knowing when to reach out for support • Prioritising my wellbeing has had to become a non-negotiable for me • Learning the difference between coping and actually living I invite you to share, whatever you're comfortable with • What part of the episode resonated with you? • Have you used anything like EAP support and how was your experience? • What fills your cup? • Do you recognise the triggers of burn out for yourself? And if you haven’t listened yet, you can find the episode here: 🎧 https://pod.link/kaisakhronicles