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14h (edited) • Intellectual/Personal Growth💡
"What if?"
"𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝗳 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗯𝗮𝗱 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗻𝘀?" "What if they leave?" "What if this ruins everything?" "What if I fail?". What if, what if, what if.... Ever notice how if we engage in "what if" type thinking, it's often towards the negative?
Our brains (unless we've trained them well) have the tendency to default to looking out for the negative/looking out for problems. It's wired for safety and so the "what if" is a question that can feel productive, but if we end up stopping there, is often very not productive. We get stuck in the loop and it leaves us anxious. We don't always go to the solution part of that...It's not only not always productive but it ends up stealing joy from the current moment.
Here’s the problem:“What if” pulls you into imagined futures where you have zero control and infinite variables. It creates emotional consequences for events that haven’t happened and that may never happen. It also doesn't take into account that future self--the self that has more information, the self that may be well equipped to handle whatever comes.
"𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒅 𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒕 𝒇𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒔 𝒅𝒖𝒆" and " 𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒅𝒗𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒐𝒏 𝒂 𝒅𝒆𝒃𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒎𝒂𝒚 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒐𝒘𝒆"are two quotes that come to mind when it comes to this....but okay, instead of saying "just stop with the What ifs"...let's redirect this energy and use some strategies! :)
𝕋𝕣𝕪 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤:
1. Turn “What if?” into “What’s likely?”Anxious brains deal in possibility. Grounded brains deal in probability. Most catastrophic outcomes are low likelihood but high emotional intensity.
2. Follow it with a plan.If the feared outcome did happen, what would you actually do?
3. Ask a better question.Instead of “What if this goes wrong?”Try: “What if this goes well?”Or even better: “What would the strongest version of me do next?” This is related to the point above about planning for it! Planning is different than worrying. But, remember, you can't plan for absolutely every single outcome...(think about the mental energy/time spent thinking/planning vs. what it would take to deal with the situation when it arises)
4. Come back to now.The only place you can take action is the present moment. What is one small, grounded step you can take today? I like to ask myself "okay, but WHAT IS actually happening right now?"
5.Notice your thought as a thought--say out loud "the thought that I'm having is ___" "The story that I'm telling myself about this is ____".
6.Oh yeah, and breathe!! Feel the emotion behind the question and be curious it. What's it actually pointing to?
POLL: Do you struggle with What if thinking?
QUESTION: What’s your most common “what if” loop, and what does it say about what you care about most?
I think about "what ifs" all the time
I never think about 'what ifs', I'm in the here and now
If I think about 'what ifs', I usually make it a productive exploration
What if you stopped it with all the questions, Georgiana. hahahaha.
I think about what ifs, but it's often positive!
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"What if?"
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