this past week/weekend, energy has been off between my husband and I. You know what I mean…you ask 100 times if things are ok and you get “yeah, why…?” But things still feel “off.” Well, that happened to us and while I knew some things that were propelling his shorter temper and emotional disconnect (he did communicate them to me), it still felt like I was missing something and there was something that I had done. Old me? I would have asked him 100 more times what was wrong, gotten mad at him for feeling iced out or disapproved of, “panic produced” through cleaning or seeming busy around the house, told a story to myself about what a terrible wife and mom I am because I did something “wrong,” given him the silent treatment, and had short tempers with my kiddos. New me? I recognized that even if he was upset with me, it was a him problem not a me problem. If he didn’t communicate it, that’s a him problem. It is not my job to manage his emotions, only my own. I am safe emotionally and physically in my house, despite any mood he has. His moods do not equal disconnection, even if it is about me. I am allowed to do whatever I want around him, despite his moods. Was it easy? No. Did I have some slips? Yes. Did I stop and started old patterns before they got going? Also yes. By continuously taking some deep breaths, discharging my emotions in a healthy way (water is great for this), and running the affirmations of if I am enough and I am not his mood regulator in my head on loop. End result? He eventually snapped out of the mood, apologized, shared what was going on, and I was able to support him from there. It was calm, cool, and collected without either of us saying anything we would regret later. Was it comfortable? No. Do I hope that he gets to a place where it’s not taking a week? Yes…but again, him problem, not mine to carry. Let me know in the comments if this resonated with you and if you’ve had any similar experiences or are currently experiencing them.