# The Roster Dating Dilemma: Are You Just a Backup? > Exploring the complexities of modern relationships and choices. In the world of dating, the trend of roster dating has taken a front seat, presenting both challenges and insights into our emotional habits. Julie and Armond dive deep into this modern phenomenon in the latest episode of *Built Different*. ## What is Roster Dating? Roster dating refers to the practice of keeping multiple potential partners on standby. As Julie points out, “If you're texting four different people at the same time, you don't have options.” This approach can lead to what psychologists term the **paradox of choice**, where having too many options leads to decision paralysis and dissatisfaction. > “The more options that we believe that we have, the harder it can be to choose just one and feel satisfied with that choice.” — Julie ## The Fantasy Football Analogy Armond likens roster dating to playing fantasy football, where you have a starting quarterback, backups, and even players on the practice squad. This analogy raises the question: do all these players know they’re on the team? Often, they don’t. Julie highlights the risk of treating relationships as interchangeable, which can lead to emotional detachment. ## The Psychological Perspective According to psychologist Barry Schwartz, too many choices can lead to decision paralysis. “Instead of focusing in on the person that’s in front of you, you’re constantly worrying if there’s a better option out there.” This can prevent us from forming meaningful connections, as we’re left wondering if the next swipe could yield someone better. ## The Risks of Roster Dating While dating multiple people can initially seem harmless, it can morph into a defense mechanism against vulnerability. Julie warns that at some point, the focus must narrow. “At first, roster dating isn't a problem as long as you're dating casually... but it becomes an issue if it’s a defense mechanism against fear of abandonment.”

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