Jun 3 (edited) • General discussion
You are the basis
Have you ever felt like you were on your own in life? That life was letting you down? That you couldn't ask anyone for help?
Everyone has probably experienced this at least once or more. But the beauty of this is realizing that you are the foundation yourself, and that fundamentally, you are indeed on your own. To most of us, this doesn't sound very encouraging and might well evoke feelings of fear, sadness, or resistance. Which is understandable, because wouldn't we all want to fall back on something or someone when we are struggling and just don't know what to do anymore? In the past, as a child, you could do that with your parents. But as you get older, you probably start to realize that they don't know everything either, that they too have their own problems and unresolved traumas. Unfortunately, some children have parents they cannot rely on from a young age. And they learned back then that they had to do it alone, with all the consequences that entails. More information on that in another post.
However, realizing more in adulthood that you sometimes stand alone can be a wonderful impetus for taking a step towards personal growth. These moments of feeling alone can help you turn inward and find and experience within yourself the support and strength you normally seek from others. People have so much more (inner) strength than they realize. And what is more beautiful than finding the strength in difficult moments to come to a solution yourself or to endure a difficult situation? Every time you succeed in doing this, you will be more present, and it will give you a boost in self-worth and self-confidence.
You are the foundation of yourself; it sounds logical, but in practice, it often seems to be the opposite. People who constantly lean on others and thereby relinquish their responsibility and giving away their power. But also blame others when something happens to them or they are treated in a certain way. When someone touches you emotionally, you often blame the other person but forget to look at your own contribution. So instead of pointing the finger at the other person, reflect on what you could have done or said differently. And reflect on why it affected you so deeply.
Also try to be alone more often so that you have the opportunity to connect with yourself without noise and influence from others. Feel what is going on inside you, feel what you need, and be there for yourself. You will become stronger little by little, although in the beginning this might evoke some resistance or fear because you may not be used to it and a lot of thoughts about all sorts of things will arise. Should that happen, try to just let it be, without resistance, judgment, or paying too much attention to it. You only need to observe how they come and go.
Little by little, you will build a strong foundation and feel less dependent on others. You will learn to trust yourself more, and the feeling that you constantly need to surround yourself with people will likely diminish significantly. What others think of you will also have less influence on you because you learn to believe in yourself more and more, causing your self-worth to grow.
The art is to see yourself as the foundation of your happiness. To be content with yourself as the basis of everything. So that the rest of your life, such as relationships, money, a nice job, status, and beautiful possessions, feels like a kind of bonus. Because if you can be content with just yourself, everything else will become much less important. And that constant urge for these kinds of things will partially or completely disappear. As a result, you will experience life in a much more relaxed way.
Of course, it is nice to have friends and family who support you, and I certainly wouldn't say that you should never make use of that. But try to solve things on your own sometimes, and try to be alone for a few days a month, because there is a great opportunity for personal growth there.
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You are the basis
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