CHAPTER 2… THE TRUTH ABOUT HOW DECISIONS ARE REALLY MADE

MASTERING HOW DECISIONS ARE MADE… A New Effective You.

by Dr. Dave Siefkes.

Most people believe they make decisions based on logic. They believe they weigh the facts, analyze the options, think through pros and cons, and then arrive at a rational conclusion. It feels true. It feels responsible. It feels intelligent. But it is not how the human mind works.

The real truth is simple. Every decision is emotional first and logical second.

Every yes. Every no. Every hesitation. Every impulse. Every regret.

The emotional brain makes the decision. The logical brain justifies it afterward.

This is the single most important truth in the entire world of influence, leadership, persuasion, communication, negotiation, and personal achievement. Once you truly understand it, everything changes. You stop speaking to the wrong part of the brain. You stop presenting solutions that never land. You stop wondering why people say, “Let me think about it,” when you know the answer is right in front of them. You stop being confused by human behavior because you finally understand the engine driving it.

The emotional brain cares about one thing.

How does this decision make me feel?

Safe, confident, hopeful, certain, understood, respected…

Nervous, unsure, overwhelmed, exposed, pressured, confused.

If the emotional brain feels good, momentum begins.

If it feels bad, momentum disappears.

Logic comes afterward. People use logic to explain the emotional decision they have already made. They build a story around the feeling. They justify it. They make it look rational. But the emotional decision always comes first.

Think about your own life.

Why did you choose your home?

Why did you choose your partner?

Why did you choose your car?

Why did you choose your job?

Why did you say yes to one opportunity and ignore another?

You may have used logic to justify the choice. You may have listed the features, the benefits, the reasons. But your first reaction was always emotional. Something felt right. Or something felt wrong. And that feeling shaped the path that followed.

This is why people buy from people they trust.

This is why confidence changes results.

This is why clarity reduces resistance.

This is why hesitation kills momentum.

This is why pressure backfires.

This is why people avoid decisions that challenge their identity.

This is why people make choices that make no sense on paper… but perfect sense emotionally.

Once you accept that decisions are emotional first, you gain an incredible advantage. You stop spending your energy building logical arguments too early. You stop overwhelming people with details before they feel secure. You stop trying to “convince” someone with facts when they are stuck emotionally. You begin guiding the emotional pathway instead of fighting it.

And here is the deeper truth.

Your emotional state influences the emotional state of the person you are speaking to.

If you feel scattered, they feel unsure.

If you feel rushed, they feel pressured.

If you feel confused, they feel lost.

If you feel calm, they feel safe.

If you feel confident, they feel grounded.

If you feel certain, they feel trust.

This is why influence is not about pushing harder. It is about aligning emotions. When you understand how decisions are really made, you speak differently. You listen differently. You present differently. You lead differently. You close differently.

In the chapters ahead, you will learn how the brain interprets options, how fear and risk shape choices, why identity drives behavior, and how to ethically guide someone toward the decision that serves them best. But it begins right here, with this truth.

Decisions are emotional. Your job is to understand the feeling behind the choice.

You cannot change what a person knows until you understand what they feel.

And once you understand what they feel, you can guide what they decide.

This is the truth about how decisions are really made.

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