18d • The Boardroom
CHAPTER 15… THE ASK: DELIVERING A CLOSE THAT FEELS NATURAL
MASTERING HOW DECISIONS ARE MADE… A New Effective You. By Dr. Dave Siefkes.
The close is not a moment of pressure. It is not a test of courage. It is not a performance.
The close is the natural conclusion of a well-guided conversation. When you have built trust, created clarity, aligned identity, reduced risk, and connected emotionally, the ask becomes simple. It becomes calm. It becomes grounded. It becomes comfortable for both you and the person you are guiding.
The emotional brain has already made its decision by this point.
The ask simply gives it permission to step forward.
A great close does not feel like a close.
It feels like the next obvious step.
Most people stumble at the ask because they bring tension into the moment—sometimes unintentionally. They speed up. They tighten their tone. They become overly formal, overly wordy, or overly cautious. The emotional brain senses this shift instantly and tightens in response.
The secret is simple.
The energy of the close must match the energy of the conversation.
No pressure. No rush. No change in posture.
Just a steady continuation of the moment you’ve already created.
A natural close has four components.
When these are present, the ask is smooth, confident, and easy.
1. The Soft Pivot
A soft pivot is the gentle shift from conversation to decision. It does not shock the emotional brain. It does not create urgency. It simply signals that you are moving into the next phase.
Examples of a soft pivot:
- “So here’s what makes sense now…”
- “Let me show you what the next step looks like…”
- “Based on everything you said, here’s the direction that fits you best…”
- “Let’s walk through how this works for you…”
Notice the tone. Calm. Clear. Matter-of-fact.
The emotional brain hears no pressure in these transitions. It hears guidance.
A strong close begins with a soft pivot.
2. The Recap of Alignment
Before you ask for the decision, you briefly recap the elements that already align. This is not persuasion. This is clarity. You are helping them see their own reasoning. You are reinforcing what they told you.
This recap touches on:
- Their goals
- Their identity
- Their desired future
- Their motivations
- Their concerns
- What matters most to them
This sounds like:
- “You mentioned your priority is…”
- “The outcome you’re looking for is…”
- “This fits the direction you said you’re moving toward…”
This does two things:
- It quiets any lingering doubt.
- It reminds their emotional brain that the decision matches their identity.
The emotional brain loves alignment.
Alignment makes the yes feel safe.
3. The Simple, Clear Presentation of the Path
Now you show them the path—clearly, calmly, and simply.
Not the long version.
Not every detail.
Not the mechanics.
Just the next few steps.
People do not choose based on the big picture.
They choose based on the next step.
Examples:
- “Here’s what happens next…”
- “Here’s the first step we’ll take…”
- “This part is very simple. All we do is…”
When the path is simple, the decision feels simple.
When the path is complex, the decision feels risky.
The emotional brain must see a predictable future before it allows movement.
A clear path creates that sense of safety.
4. The Ask That Feels Like a continuation, Not a Transition
This is where the moment becomes easy.
A natural close does not sound like a pitch or a pitchfork.
It is not loud.
It is not dramatic.
It is not a shift in energy.
It is simply the next sentence.
Examples:
- “Ready to move forward?”
- “Does this feel like the right next step for you?”
- “Want to go ahead and begin?”
- “Shall we take the first step?”
These are not commands.
These are invitations.
And they work because the emotional brain already feels safe, aligned, and understood.
The ask should feel like the most obvious part of the entire conversation.
THE THREE FEELINGS OF A NATURAL CLOSE
When you deliver the ask correctly, three emotional states appear—instantly and predictably:
1. Calm
The moment feels grounded. No tension. No pressure.
The calmness reassures the emotional brain.
2. Confidence
You project certainty and ease.
Confidence transfers. If you are confident, they feel confident.
3. Continuity
The decision feels like a natural continuation of the conversation.
Not a shift. Not a twist.
Just the next step.
These three emotions make the close feel fluid. And fluid closes convert.
THE BIGGEST MISTAKE AT THE ASK
Over-explaining.
When people get nervous, they talk too much.
Talking too much creates pressure.
Pressure creates resistance.
Resistance slows the decision.
The less you say at the ask, the more confident you appear.
You do not need to justify the close.
You do not need to defend it.
You do not need to repeat twenty benefits.
You do not need to “earn” the yes in that moment.
You earned it earlier.
This moment is about guidance, not convincing.
Say the ask. Then pause.
Let the silence carry the confidence.
THE YES SHOULD FEEL LIKE A RELIEF, NOT A STRUGGLE
If you guided the conversation correctly, the yes feels like the natural conclusion.
It feels like clarity.
It feels like alignment.
It feels like momentum.
It feels like the emotional brain finally stepping forward with confidence.
The hallmark of a professional closer is simple.
The person feels good about saying yes.
They do not feel pressured.
They do not feel cornered.
They do not feel manipulated.
They feel understood. They feel equipped. They feel ready.
A natural close is a gift, not a push.
In the next chapter, we widen the lens.
Now that you know how to guide others through decisions, you will learn how to use these same principles on yourself. Decision-based leadership is the foundation of the New Effective You. The same elements that move others will elevate your own life when you learn to apply them internally.
Chapter 16 unlocks the next level of mastery.
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CHAPTER 15… THE ASK: DELIVERING A CLOSE THAT FEELS NATURAL
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