19d • The Boardroom
CHAPTER 14… THE CONVERSATION BEFORE THE CLOSE
MASTERING HOW DECISIONS ARE MADE… A New Effective You. By Dr. Dave Siefkes.
The most important part of any close happens before the close.
Not during the decision moment.
Not when you present the offer.
Not when you explain the benefits or answer the questions.
The real close is engineered earlier—quietly, naturally, patiently—in the conversation that sets the emotional stage. This is the moment where trust is created, fears are lowered, clarity begins to form, and identity starts to align. If this conversation is handled well, the final close becomes smooth and predictable. If this conversation is rushed or handled poorly, the final close becomes difficult, tense, or inconsistent.
The emotional brain decides early.
The logical brain just catches up later.
This means the decisions are shaped long before the final question is ever asked.
The conversation before the close is where you create the conditions for a yes.
It has five core goals:
- Build trust
- Create connection
- Understand their goals
- Understand their fears
- Align identity with the direction of the future
Do these well and you never have to “sell.”
You simply guide.
Let’s walk through the elements one by one.
1. Establish Emotional Safety Immediately
People decide based on how they feel about the interaction before they ever evaluate the information.
The emotional brain asks:
- “Do I feel safe?”
- “Do I feel understood?”
- “Do I feel respected?”
- “Do I feel pressured?”
- “Do I like the energy of this conversation?”
Tone matters more than words.
Presence matters more than strategy.
Calmness matters more than technique.
Emotional safety is created through:
- A relaxed pace
- A warm tone
- Genuine curiosity
- Lack of urgency
- Open-ended questions
- Listening without interruption
When someone feels safe, the emotional brain opens and the logical brain becomes available.
When someone feels unsafe, everything tightens and nothing moves.
2. Understand Their Internal World
The conversation before the close is NOT about you explaining.
It is about them revealing.
People will only trust you to guide their decisions if they believe you understand their world… what they want, what they fear, what they value, and what they believe about themselves.
You must understand:
- Their goals
- Their frustrations
- Their motivations
- Their fears
- Their past experiences
- Their identity story
- Their emotional triggers
You don’t guess.
You ask.
Questions like:
- “What matters most to you about this?”
- “What led you to explore this now?”
- “What has held you back before?”
- “How do you want this to feel for you?”
- “What kind of outcome are you hoping for?”
You are not interrogating.
You are exploring.
You are connecting the dots of their emotional landscape.
Without understanding their internal world, you cannot guide the external decision.
3. Connect the Dots to Identity
Identity shapes every decision.
The conversation before the close is where you begin gently aligning the future with who they are—or who they are becoming.
You do this by reflecting their own language back to them:
- “It sounds like you’re the kind of person who…”
- “You mentioned that your goal is…”
- “This aligns with what you told me matters most to you…”
- “This fits the direction you said you’re moving toward…”
You aren’t inventing anything.
You are helping them see themselves clearly.
Identity alignment is one of the strongest emotional triggers. When they feel the decision matches who they are, resistance dissolves.
4. Highlight the Desired Future, Not the Mechanics
Mechanics cause hesitation.
The future causes movement.
People don’t take action because the steps are perfect. They take action because the future feels right.
In the conversation before the close, you help them see:
- The emotional outcome
- The improvement
- The relief
- The confidence
- The benefit
- The transformation
You paint the picture of who they will be on the other side of the decision.
This creates desire.
Desire is the engine of the close.
5. Prepare the Emotional Brain Before Logic Arrives
The emotional brain needs to feel:
- Safe
- Understood
- Aligned
- Supported
- Confident
The logical brain needs to feel:
- Clear
- Informed
- Structured
- Predictable
The conversation before the close prepares both systems.
When you do this right, the final close becomes almost effortless.
By the time you reach the decision, they are thinking:
- “This feels right.”
- “This makes sense.”
- “This aligns with what I want.”
- “This fits who I am.”
The emotional work has been done.
The logical mind simply confirms it.
THE SECRET: THE CLOSE BEGINS EARLY
Most people dread the close because they treat it like a moment of pressure.
Professionals look forward to the close because they engineer the conditions early… so early that the final moment feels natural.
The conversation before the close is where the real influence happens.
It is where resistance dissolves.
It is where trust takes shape.
It is where the path becomes clear.
It is where identity aligns.
It is where desire grows.
It is where the yes begins.
In the next chapter, we explore The Ask… how to deliver a close that feels comfortable, confident, and completely natural. This is where technique meets emotional intelligence. This is where the blueprint becomes real movement. This is where the decision happens effortlessly because everything leading up to it has been aligned.
1
0 comments
CHAPTER 14… THE CONVERSATION BEFORE THE CLOSE
skool.com/guerrillamarketing
Creative Infusion Team brings bold thinkers together to spark guerrilla marketing, sharp strategy, AI and unstoppable momentum for your business.
Powered by