When I learned ..a gift is not always a gift

Tori Cadry

6h • 💪🏼 Challenges

I remember i was 18... my mother had offered to watch her granddaughter for my sister.

I was at her house visiting that day... I could never hold back when I know i would see sweet little Geni ...

I knew mom offered this to my sister, to give her time she needed for self care.

I invited myself. Mom appreciated my offer of help.

As the day wore on, the toddler exhausted mom... her friend called... she complained... a LOT to her friend.

Not just im tired... like really expressing deep resentment.

I was holding the baby... she cried. She was hearing and understanding what was happening.

I was there helping her, playing with her because it brought me joy...

Mom was offering the gift but holding resentment.... I got curious.

"Mom"... I asked when she got off the phone. "Why do you offer something if you don't want to give it?"

She said "of course I want to give it..."

"That's not what I saw today Mom, no shame, but let's talk about it."

She sat silently for a while.

"I don't know" she said.

"Yes you do." I said.

She said..." I wish you hadn't seen that"

I said, Im glad i did. I want to understand. Don't you?

"I do." She said

"Doesn't it say somewhere in the Bible that we're supposed to give with a giving heart?

Isn't that supposed to mean that once the gift is offered you sacrifice any attachment to the gift? That we decide to let it be joyful even if they sell it or trash it? Isn't it still a gift?"

"Yes" she said... "it is."

"So, how is a gift of your time, that you get to spend with one so fresh from heaven, any different?... AND Isn't bitching about it, outloud to another... also trashing your own gift? "

Her eyes got wide... sigh... hugs...

"I never thought about it that way.

"But you're right. I want to change that."

And she did, not perfectly.. but Persistently.

The lesson for me was that if I complain it sours everything. My mood, their mood, and the gift is no longer a gift... it even goes so far as to cause damage 💔 😢

Mom getting upset was really because she was tired, hungry, bored... not because she resented time with her granbaby.

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