As our kids step into adolescence, the world opens up in a way that’s both exciting and overwhelming, for them and for us. New peers, new pressures, new freedoms, new responsibilities. It’s a time when they begin building the blueprint of who they’ll become as adults. And while the journey can feel unpredictable at times, none of it needs to be alarming. These experiences are the raw material from which capable, resilient young adults are shaped. One of the first major shifts teens experience is the expansion of their social world. They begin stepping into new circles. Sports teams, hobby groups, online communities, or the broader environment of high school, and they start meeting people on their own terms. These aren’t just “classmates” anymore, they’re individuals that they are actually choosing to spend time with. Parties, gatherings, and social events become more common, and with them comes the chance to practise judgment, read people, and decide who genuinely belongs in their life. Alongside these growing social experiences comes exposure to alcohol and substances. Not because teens are inherently reckless, but because curiosity and peer influence are powerful forces during these years. A teen may be handed a drink at a party, or notice friends experimenting with smoking or other substances. This is often the first time they’re confronted with a real, unsupervised decision that carries consequences. These moments can feel heavy for parents, but they’re also where teens develop the ability to pause, think, and make choices based on reasoning instead of impulse. This is also the age where romantic interest begins to bloom. Crushes appear, sometimes intensely, and teens take their first steps into dating, affection, and intimacy. They start figuring out what it feels like to like someone and what it feels like to be liked back. They experiment with communication, boundaries, and emotional vulnerability. This is where conversations about consent and respect matter most, not as lectures, but as the tools they’ll use for the rest of their lives to build healthy relationships.

Right now, in the real world I operate in as a self-defence and corporate safety instructor, self-defence has very little to do with fighting…and almost everything to do with awareness, judgement, boundaries, and timing. It may not be the glamorous, but it is the truth that is saving people in offices, schools, shopping centres, transport hubs, and homes every single day. We are living in an environment of increased stress, social fragmentation, mental health strain, economic pressure, rising aggression, and digital deception. The threat landscape has changed. It’s not just “bad guys in dark alleys” anymore. The risks are subtler, messier, closer to home, and often look deceptively normal until the moment they aren’t. So what is really important about self-defence right now? It’s not how hard you can punch. It's how early you notice a problem. It's how confidently you set a boundary. It's how clearly you read behaviour. It's how effectively you manage fear and adrenaline. It's how fast you decide to move or leave. It's how well you can guide others to safety. And it’s how intelligently you respond after an incident. Self-defence has shifted from a physical skillset to a life skillset. The first reality we need to accept is that most dangerous situations do not start violently. They start socially and behaviourally. In workplaces, I see it constantly. Long before someone shouts, grabs, or attacks, they are signalling distress or hostility through behaviour. Fixation, agitation, pacing, isolating themselves, making threats “as jokes”, escalating grievances, obsessive complaints, deteriorating appearance, or sudden emotional swings. Most people notice it. Very few feel “allowed” to act on it. One of the most important modern self-defence skills is trusting your behavioural radar again. We’ve spent years teaching people to be polite, inclusive, open-minded, tolerant, understanding, and those are good values, but they’ve also had a side effect. People now override their instincts far too often. They stay in uncomfortable conversations too long. They brush off red flags. They hesitate in case they might “offend” someone. They second-guess their perception. In dangerous situations, that hesitation is often the costliest decision of all.

In almost every class I teach, whether it’s women in a workplace, seniors in a community centre, young adults, or corporate teams preparing for worst-case scenarios, someone inevitably asks: “What do I actually DO if someone attacks me?” It’s a fair question. It’s also the wrong starting point. Real self-defence doesn’t begin with strikes, kicks, or techniques. It begins long before an attacker is within arm’s reach. And the truth most people don’t hear enough is this: Physical self-defence is a last resort. Not the plan. Not the primary solution. Not the smartest first line of defence. In fact, for many people, especially women, seniors, those with injuries, disabilities, or reduced strength, relying on a physical confrontation is not only unrealistic, it can be extremely dangerous. Movies, social media clips and even most martial arts schools create a distorted perception of self-defence. We see small people defeating large attackers. We see perfect blocks, clean strikes, and clear victories. What we don’t see is: - The chaos - The adrenaline - The tunnel vision - The freezing - The legal aftermath - The injuries from a single punch or fall In the real world, physical violence is messy and unpredictable. A single push can result in a head hitting concrete. A “simple punch” can be fatal. A knife appears when you didn’t see it. A second attacker appears when you were focused on the first. For women and seniors in particular, size and strength discrepancies make a physical exchange even more dangerous. The missing link in most self-defence training is not more techniques… It’s more awareness. Awareness prevents more attacks than strength ever will. By the time a situation has turned physical, the odds have already shifted against you, no matter how strong, trained, or confident you are (or think you are).