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What is Autism?
Autism (or Autism Spectrum Disorder) is a difference in how a child’s brain grows and processes the world. It’s not something a child “catches” or something caused by parenting—it’s just a different way of developing. What might it look like in a toddler? Every child is unique, but families might notice differences in a few areas: 1. Communication - Using fewer words, or not yet talking - Repeating words or phrases - Pulling you to what they want instead of pointing or asking - Less back-and-forth interaction (like “serve and return” play) 2. Social interaction - Less eye contact or interest in faces - Prefers playing alone or in their own way - Doesn’t always respond to their name - May not show or share things with others (“look!” moments) 3. Play and behavior - Repeating the same actions (spinning wheels, lining things up) - Very focused on certain toys or topics - Upset by changes in routine - Strong reactions to sounds, textures, or lights (either very sensitive or not bothered at all) A helpful way to think about it Many families find this framing useful: Autism isn’t a delay in wanting connection—it’s a difference in how connection happens. Your child may absolutely want to connect with you—they just might show it in different ways or need support learning how. Strengths matter too! Things like strong memory, attention to detail, cool ways to problem solve, honest and genuine interactions, and more!
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Light up your soul, baby
I know I preach about self-care and doing what makes your soul happy. I preach about being a busy mom and knowing the feeling of exhaustion way too well. I preach about trying to find alone time and doing what make you happy. But I don't talk a lot about why. We all know when do things for ourselves and even others we feel good from the inside which helps radiate on the outside. Everyone's light is different and that's beautiful. When your soul ignites, you will know. Close your eyes and really think about what makes you happy. Then think about what truly lights up YOUR soul- for a long time. These prolonged lights that shine deep within our soul are rare, at least for me they are. I might feel a spark here and there and I feel happy for a short while, but those things that keep me feeling lit up for a while, it can be difficult to reach. We are all so used to routine- the routine of life and that can dull our light. We are such predictable humans and then life throws us a storm and we are out of routine meaning we have to "start all over again." During that storm, we tend to lose our sparkle and our light. We become less motivated and start to overthink. What am I good at? What makes ME truly happy? Where is my life going? Am I good mom? Amiright?? Damn brain- so disconnected from our soul at times. And then we give give give so much our ourselves to our kids, our family, our friends, our jobs, our thoughts, which in turn does nothing for us but leave us feeling drained because we break ourselves so much just so that others can stay together. If there is one thing I have learned from life and being an adult and being needed all the time, it's to add value to your own life first. Add that self-love piece to your life FIRST. For me, feeling aligned is the most whole feeling ever. When my brain feels connected to my soul I feel the most complete I have ever felt. It’s rare but ohhhhh nothing beats this feeling. The things we do in our lives don't define us, but our soul and what fuels our soul does. You can pray a million times a day, run a million miles a day, have all the money in the world, but you can still feel empty. The goal in life is find out what makes you full and then collect as many of those feelings as you can.
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I wish I didn’t care so much
I wish I didn’t care so much about what everyone thought and how everybody felt. I always just want everyone to be OK and not get so stressed. Maybe it has to do with the fact that sometimes I feel stressed or out of control and I don’t want anyone else to feel that way. But I do know that I’ve learned within the past couple years especially after having kids that we can only do what we can do. Way easier said than done, I know. I think I need that reminder and motto so much in my life, especially now. I’m not trying to put women in this category specifically (because you should meet my ex husband), but I will say I’m not sure I’ve ever felt so overwhelmed, spread thin and pressured to get everything done. I get that I’m a mom and I chose this life blah blah blah, but damn, the workload these days are so heavy. What ever happened to just playing with our kids and being in the moment more? Or moms being able to get more than freaking 6 weeks off for pushing a baby out of her vagina/ nursing your whole milk supply to tiny humans- I actually loved this part, just wish I could have savored it more and had more time. Really though, how in Gods name are we supposed to manage ourselves, practice self care, manage our families and their emotions, hold a full time job, make sure your kids are okay in school and feeling happy and safe, make as much money as possible just to make ends meet, schedule doctors appointments, make sure the kids are safe, make sure you brush your hair (haha so true right) and schedule in some type of fun or downtime? I struggle with managing this a lot lately. I struggle with managing anything anymore. At 36 years old I am feeling burnt out, unsupported (but that’s on me), overwhelmed and unmotivated. I feel like I’ve lost my passion because I’m trying to multitask everything else in my life. And let me tell you, when these feelings creep in I have to shove them back in my heart, especially when others in your family or tribe struggle with anxiety or these same feelings because we have to be strong for everyone, or at least we feel this way. Maybe it’s the after effects of the everlasting pandemic. Maybe it’s my own fault for feeling this way because I’m an empath and overly sensitive. I internalize everyone else’s emotions and I want everyone else to not feel the way I do when I’m overwhelmed. But again, I can’t face these feelings well because my plate is full. Why don’t you let something go? Why don’t you take some things off your plate? Do you really have to run everyday? Well sure, of course I do because if I didn’t run I would feel more out of control than I typically do. Running is predictable and helps me reset and feel grounded. You don’t have to understand. I’ve learned that we don’t have to understand the things that make people happy or feel out of control or any feeling. We just have to listen and cheer them on. Remember we aren’t alone as we all try to navigate this hectic and busy world.
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Empowered mama
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Early childhood, autism, adhd, behavior, & motherhood
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