5d • Whiteness
CiW Letters to Chamieka...
Everybody, let’s talk about it: 🧵
I’m a 27-year-old white female kindergarten teacher with a small class of about fifteen 5- to 7-year-olds. I’m honestly one of the most progressive people I know, so I thought I was prepared for anything. Yesterday we read a children’s book whose main character was a Chinese girl. The pictures were realistic, not cartoony, which I loved because representation matters.
At the first picture, a white boy in my class asked, “Why are her eyes so small?” I handled it like a pro and said, “She’s Chinese. Chinese people usually have small eyes.” He then asked, “Can she see?” I said yes, she can see almost as well as he can, which I think was a great way to normalize it. Then I told him to be quiet so I could keep reading. A couple of pictures later, he said, “I like my eyes better.”
That’s when I realized this was serious. Kids don’t just say things like that. It’s instilled in them by their parents, and I’d honestly bet money on that. I mean, I don’t know what goes on in their household, but children absorb things, and somebody needs to take responsibility for that. I ignored the comment for the moment because I’m very strategic and planned to deal with it after class.
At pickup time, I left most of the kids with my assistant teacher (who, to be fair, is not very proactive) and took the boy and one of my Korean students into a separate room. I didn’t want to make a scene, and I thought she’d be perfect to have there since her eyes are just like the girl in the book. Korean, Chinese, I figured the point was the same. Obviously I understand there are cultural differences, but at that age I really didn’t think the distinction was relevant. I didn’t ask her if she wanted to be part of this because I didn’t want to make it weird or make her feel singled out. I was actually trying to do the opposite.
I told him it’s okay to look different and talked for about five minutes. I was pretty much crying by the end. I know how terrible racism is, and I think my tears showed both kids how much this matters. I wanted him to understand that comments about somebody’s appearance can hurt people, and honestly I think having a real emotional response made the lesson more meaningful.
When I brought them back, no parents were in the classroom. Outside, both moms were on their phones, frantic, which seemed like a lot to me. They were relieved to see their kids, then started yelling at me for not telling anyone where the kids were. It had only been about 10 minutes past normal pickup. I calmly explained why I’d taken them aside, accused the boy’s mom of either her or her husband instilling racism in him, and told the other mom I’d used her daughter to solve the dilemma. I thought she’d be grateful her child got to be part of something so important. Both moms were shocked and confused, but still angry that I’d made them “worried sick,” which felt like they were making it about themselves instead of the actual racism.
The Korean mom eventually thanked me, which I think speaks volumes. She told me she appreciated that I was trying to teach the children about differences and kindness. So I genuinely thought we were okay. Imagine my surprise when I found out the white mom is reporting me. Apparently she’s claiming I isolated her son and another child without permission and made accusations about their family. I honestly don’t understand why she’s so determined to make this into something when the lesson was literally about racism.
I’m pretty sure I told my assistant teacher where I was going, but she was already gone by then, so honestly this is on her. Things have calmed down, except that the boy’s mom had him moved to a different class, which feels like running from the problem instead of growing. I also think it’s pretty telling that the parent who actually benefited from the lesson was thankful while the other parent is escalating things. I don’t want to say that proves anything, but it definitely makes me question what kind of conversations are happening at home.
I was accused of kidnapping when I was only trying to make the world a better place, and nobody has even thanked me properly for trying. I genuinely thought I was doing something good here. Was I out of place? Am I going to get in trouble? Because I feel like people are so quick to attack educators who actually care about teaching children about racism, and that’s honestly discouraging.
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CiW Letters to Chamieka...
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