Ciw Case Study: Letters to Chamieka · Deconstructing with Aleeza

Ciw Case Study: Letters to Chamieka

Hi Chamieka,

I would love some support and guidance from you and your followers.

I work for a large payroll processing firm. I’ve been a data analyst for 8 years. I love my job, and I’ve been promoted twice since I started.

When I started, I became very close to a Black woman on my team. I guess I should mention that I’m white, although I’m not really sure if that matters here or not.

We hit it off immediately. We ate lunch together, helped each other with projects, gossiped about work together, and stayed close outside of work too. She came to my wedding, and I even took off work for a week after she had her first child since she didn’t have any help from her child’s father. I’ve really shown up for her over the years, and she’s been my friend and confidant for a long time.

Several months ago, a position opened up in our department as the person who was in it for years was retiring. Our department manager sent out the job announcement and told us we should all apply.

Before I could even tell my friend that I planned to apply for it, she told me that she planned to apply for it. So I kept it to myself. I applied for the job too, privately. I figured I’d tell her if it went anywhere.

Long story short, we were both called in for an interview, and it would have been a substantial pay increase. I honestly thought she would get it. She’s a great, innovative employee with a wall full of credentials and awards, and I’ve learned a lot from her over the years. She tends to keep a low profile, comes in, does her job, and goes home. There’s nothing wrong with that, but she’s never really been involved beyond work- she’s never come to a Christmas party or a happy hour after work in the 8 years we’ve worked together.

I I am more social and have a really great relationship with the hiring managers, both in and out of work. So I kind of knew I might have a slight advantage in that way, just because I’m friendly and outgoing, and she’s more reserved.

The day of the interview, we both came in more dressed up than usual. I finally did tell her that I’m interviewing for the position too and that she didn’t give me a chance to tell her. I could tell she felt betrayed or disappointed- I’m not sure.

Eight people were interviewed. Four of us made it to the second round. My friend and I were two of the four.

A week later, we found out that I got the job, and it has put a significant wedge between us. We talk because we have to at work, but she doesn’t want much else to do with me. I’ve tried everything. I just want my friend back.

I am new to anti-racism work, and I really appreciate being able to follow you and learn. The way I look at it, at least someone who’s dedicated to anti-racism got the job, even if that person is me. I kind of feel like that’s a good thing overall. It could have been other people who aren’t as committed to doing things right, so in that sense, maybe it worked out the way it was supposed to.

To make matters worse, two weeks ago she got moved to my team. So not only have I lost a friend, but now I’m her supervisor. Like I stated earlier, she is a great worker and has never had any issues, but the nastiness she’s showing toward me can’t really be ignored. I’m her boss. I’m not saying I’m a king, but we do need to work together in a progressive manner.

How would I apologize to her in an effective way? How could I talk to her about not necessarily insubordination, but more like her bad attitude? This cannot go on for much longer but I want to have the right words before I speak with her.

Thanks!

Reflection:

What do you notice?

What charectistics are present?

How do they prevent clear communication?

Original link if you wanna brave the comments

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1BbCJiaPKM/

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