9d • Mindset & Reflection
Dates Recently & Awareness
Let's see here. I meant to post this recently but will now!
In August, I went out to a local Pub (Older folk locals 45 - 65) age group. Some of a Social Group I am apart of was here, and I introduced myself to a girl and her Mum at a Table. I'll name the girl a different name to protect her. Let's call her Jenny. After a few weekends of going out, Jenny and I got closer and ended up talking a lot on Whatsapp.
Jenny is very into Emolike stuff, horror, and Halloween all year round. She doesn't respect her body too much in the way I would I.E Diet and Exercise. As you know fitness is my identity. I get on really well with Jenny, we laugh, dance on the dance floor together, share personal moments with each other, hype each other etc. Quite a lot of stuff. She also cannot drive.
As time went on we decided to have a date, she said she had feelings for me, and I wasn't her usual type of guy. I said sure let's do it.
Date 1 - I said I'll come pick you up, and we'll go for a walk around the shopping mall's lake. She said that's great. So we did this, for a few hours talked a lot about stuff. But, a few major red flags came up for me. She constantly mentioned all her exes. Especially what they did, what they were like, how their dates used to go. Then she was asking me about mine. I didn't give much information at all as it's not relevant here. After time went on, I took her home, and she kissed me on the cheek. So Date went well.
As some more time went on. I don't like to project the future too much myself. But, as she couldn't drive. I kept hinting or joking saying 'You should learn to drive you'll be good at it.' She kept diverting the question, or making excuses. She also lives at home with her Mum, and if she didn't her Mum wouldn't be able to make Rent or Bills. This is also a red flag for me. I love the family dynamic, but if the future ever came up of living together it wouldn't happen.
After weeks went by, we both went silent. Didn't speak for like 2-3 weeks. Until October I messaged her saying thank you for hyping me up on my Status on Social Media about my breakthrough. Then, we went out to the Pub we met at again for dance etc to a good band, have a few drinks and stuff. I mentioned the first date location. I had tried to set up a second date prior, and she did agree but never followed through. She said 'We should have that second date and organised it on the spot.' I said sure again.
SO Last Thursday I picked her up, we went for a hot chocolate and talked in the Coffee Shop for a few hours. She went on about her EXES AGAIN like for a LONG time. My ears were ringing since then. At the end of the night we kissed on the lips as I dropped her home. I did enjoy my time.
So my conclusion is.
- She hasn't got over her exes at all, she even mentioned her Body Count to me.
- I need to stop future proofing and be in the moment -> However, this is me to stop wasting my time.
- Her lifestyle doesn't match mine -> I'm after someone who lives heathily.
- Has ambition to do something with their life, and not sponge at home.
- I won't settle for anyone that doesn't allign.
The dates I went on were for practice for me to be honest. I know myself and others quite well the last few years. Also big thing I've noticed about myself is:
My Attraction style is a LOT different to others. I don't label it as it's me. But, I have to really talk to someone in person and connect before I even know I'm attracted or interested. I could look at someone super hot in person from a distance, and feel nothing like a lot of other guys who 'drool' in person lol...
Apologies, I went on a rant. Just wanted to share my awareness!
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Dates Recently & Awareness
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