9d (edited) • Reflections
Good Morning, Reflections
Update 4/20/26
I got some peace to stop my fast this morning. I was becoming so physically weak. I wasn’t eating properly to sustain myself. I ate a lot of Shredded Wheat Cereal because that is all I wanted. Feeling better now.
Blessings
So liquid fasting breakfast, stopped drinking coca cola and stopped eating ice cream, has left me feeling un-spiritual for certain. I don’t remember now when I started. Seems like Wednesday or Thursday after Resurrection Day.
I am more exhausted than ever. This is entirely my fault though. I ate cereal for several days. It is all I wanted.
More sleepy now than just driving, it is a damper on my body and in my body.
I feel tired, despair in the fact that I must stay were I live even though it affects me in a negative way.
Here is the consistent drive in the morning to work.
On my birthday, the 14th, It took me two hours drive-to work because of car accidents.
I started on the desperate journey to find a home closer to work. Looming over about twenty apartments on The Lists and Zillow each day and visiting two apartments each day at least.
I look tired and feel I am sleep walking.
I just told everyone I am just tired from driving which is true.
Fasting, praying and reading the word, not all that for me. I wanted it to be so much more spiritual than it is for me. I feel bad and wore myself out looking for an apartment and working.
Not sure if you all fasted for a while before?
The good thing is, I stoped the flow of a curse word at the first syllable two times this week. That is the only curse words in this time frame so far, that tried to sneak out while speaking.
This is the whole point of my fast. So yea👏 To purge out the auto draft of a curse word when I want to get a point across that I am serious ❣️
I ate some meat the last two days which helped a lot.
I have to muster up some energy to move half my stuff back into the house today or tomorrow.
I planned out where things are going and my coach mentioned going live in the community instead of writing posts.
It is a great idea.
Soon, I will be doing this. Just randomly showing up.
I am reflecting, grief is fully present because I am not where I thought I would be at 61 years old. The stuck feeling is also a trigger.
Waiting on The Lord is what I will need to shift too again.
It is hard to see how my protective and safe home is better than feeling unsafe driving everyday. But apparently, there is no open doors so I must stop pushing so hard to find the door of relief from this driving.
But Houston is flat. I know it floods really bad especially in hurricane season.
God knows the future and I don’t. I am so glad to not know the future. I think that would lead to pride as it does for so many who have that gift.
Anyway, processing my journey getting a community off the ground with disabilities.
The overhanging trees are at one if the apartments I thought would work out.
I truly love trees.
So this is me, Renee in worship dance as a tool of creating art as worship & some vulnerability😊
AFTER ALL THIS WORSHIP WITH THE SONGS BELOW: 🔻This is a tool 🔺 I put the video above; even though it came after all the list of videos below🔻
🔺sharing with you how I use worship to break out of my flesh feelings. Pouring it All Out at The Feet of Jesus
Maybe you can relate❤️🫱 🫲
Lay it all down song
Another Lay it Down song
Another Lay it Down song
I guess I am having fun listening to what list YouTube provided in my search to Lay it Down
Now, I am up do the dance 💃
Lay it all down, Let it all go
Lay it down
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Good Morning, Reflections
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