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Today we’re going to talk about a guy named Tim, a Provider. Tim wants to attend a training camp in Hawaii. It’s a wonderful work-holiday type thing, but he feels far too guilty to go on the trip, because if he was to leave his wife and child behind, they’d have to survive without him. He’s worried that they’re going to clash and get into conflict; that his wife’s really going to struggle emotionally, his kid’s going to miss him. And because of this, he feels like he actually can’t leave. He has no problem with his wife going on holidays herself. In fact, he encourages and supports her to do it as often as possible. However, when it’s his turn to take care of his needs, far beyond just this trip, he feels like he can’t do it. He sees himself as this necessary cog in the machine that cannot leave them behind. He has to be there. He has to manage everybody. He has to take care of everybody, or they’ll fall apart without him. On the surface you might think he’s a devoted father, a self-sacrificing hero, a husband who takes care of his family first and puts himself second. Internally, he feels like he literally cannot leave. He feels so responsible for being this provider, for being the manager, for being the one who’s necessary and needed, where the whole world falls apart without him. The guilt he feels is such that even the thought of doing something for himself is enough to stop him, even when the people who might be affected are encouraging him to do it. There’s a big difference between being supportive of your family and neglecting yourself through self-sacrifice. Today we’re going to talk about that difference, and in particular we’re going to talk about the identity that many men around the world have of being The Provider. To help us understand why Tim - and many millions of men around the world - feel too guilty to take care of their own needs, especially when they’re married with children, we’re going to have a look at how Tim views the concept of responsibility in all areas of his life, and what that might tell us about why nice guys constantly sacrifice themselves, even though they resent the people they’re sacrificing themselves for, because it feels like they’re forced to do it.

I've built something special for you guys... This is a personal goal tracking and journalling app. I built it myself! This simple tracking system will keep you on track with your integrity and confidence growth. It comes with: - Goal setting and daily tracking - Core Values measurements - Journalling - Share it or keep private - Leaderboard for the more competitive types - Quick one-click "Ask Dan for Guidance" feature - Badges to reward progress If you're currently a paying subscription member, you already have access. Just click here and use the same email you log in to Skool. https://app.mrniceguy.coach/ If you aren't a paid Brojo member but want to get the app, you can get it for $25/month here ** Use the promotion code BROJOTRIAL to get 50% off the first month. ** Watch the video below for a complete run through demonstration of how to use the app. Have a play. PS. I can update the app easily any time, so if you have any feature requests or notice any bugs, just let me know! Dan