May '25 • 💬 Chat
I used to believe that suffering in silence would make me a man.
Now that I’ve grown out of that false belief,
I understand why so many men still suffer in silence believing it will make them stronger when in reality, it only makes them harder, not wiser.
Today, I want to share a simple technique that can give you a real upper hand in your relationships, sales, or just daily life
But before we dive in, I want to make one important distinction:
Pain and suffering are not the same.
Pain is an indicator that something’s wrong.
Suffering is the result of ignoring that signal.
You might’ve heard the saying, “Suffering is part of life.”
That’s true.
But suffering doesn’t have to be part of your life.
So where does the confusion come from?
Many of us grew up being wanting to be stoic.
To never show emotions.
To take waves in the face without flinching.
But real strength isn’t about pretending fear or pain doesn’t exist.
Real strength is about building the capacity to hold those feelings without reacting impulsively.
I didn’t have that capacity for a long time.
In arguments, I’d try to be the angriest person in the room.
If I couldn’t, I’d leave.
I was afraid of conflict afraid of being responsible for other people’s emotions.
I thought I had to fix everything.
At the same time, I expected others to walk on eggshells around me instead of setting my own boundaries.
That pattern came to a stop.
I learned to take responsibility for my emotions.
To process them in real time.
To detach from them simply by breathing.
And now, I want to share a simple technique that will help you stay grounded even in conflict.
I call it ABC:
Arrive. Breathe. Connect.
Arrive – Come back to your body. Don’t let emotions pull you into the past or future.
Breathe – Notice your breath. Is it deep or shallow? Fast or slow? Slow it down to calm your nervous system.
Connect – If eye contact is too intense, connect with the ground. Feel your feet, your seat, your spine. Over time, you’ll be able to look people in the eye and stay calm.
This practice starts in silence through meditation. The more you practice the better you become
When you learn that just by breathing, your emotions can
dissolve or give you clarity, you unlock a new kind of power.
You act from presence
not reaction.
From grounded energy
not defense.
And that kind of presence makes you show up as 10,000x more of a man.
ABC.
Arrive. Breathe. Connect.
Start now.
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I used to believe that suffering in silence would make me a man.
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