Oct 21 • General discussion
Ima shithead!
Self Rule for Shitheads?
Autonomy is a NEED for me.
I was programmed it was wrong and selfish.
I was taught it wasn’t possible anyway.
Just slap a label called “unsolvable” on the autonomy box forget about solving it and let others rule me.
“Now follow MY rules!”
Or…
“Do what I want!”
…almost always followed the discouragement to make my own rules in some fashion.
My girlfriends (and others) wanted me to do what THEY wanted if I loved them.
School wanted me to do well on tests, do college and trade my life for a wage so THEY would have stats to brag about.
The guvmint, banks, car manufacturers and numerous other shittery manufacturers want me deeply in debt bondage to cushion their profits and power.
The guvmint also wants me dependent on them for my healthcare, retirement income, safety and security. Just give up my self rule and responsibilty. Don’t worry. We love you. Now let us have your son so we can send him off to war.
Fortunately…
My soul starved for autonomy so desperately I was miserable.
“Like being told food is “bad” for you - now give it to me!”
When the torture got unbearable…
I just said “Fuck it. I’m doing it my way. How much fucking worse could it be?”
If I died a miserable shithead at least it was my own damn fault!
Turns out…
…for me
Autonomy was like vitamin C after suffering with scurvy for decades.
Every area of my life healed.
But…
I don’t run a “business” like I’m “supposed” to…
I don’t run my personal finances by the book.
I’m not a “good” husband or father by society’s standards.
I certainly don’t need some mother fucker to tell me how to be a real man.
And the worst of the worst?
I’ve watched Breaking Bad four times!
I may be a shithead, but I’m a happy shithead!
Now…
For fuck’s sake…
Don’t take anything in this post as a rule for YOU to follow.
Except watch Breaking Bad at least once! 😆
Rooting for Ya,
Travis
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Ima shithead!
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