Sober Curious Recovery: Why I’m Fighting For It So Hard
The recovery community is divided. Old school recovery vs New school recovery / Sober Curious? Huge amounts of Hate. Rightfully so. Here we go. There is a war brewing in the world of recovery. On one side, you have old school recovery. Twelve step programs, lifelong abstinence, one day at a time philosophy. 12-step advocates, meeting-goers and the analog recovery community. On the other side you have new school recovery and the sober curious community. Asking questions, challenging the norms, attempting to redefine what recovery means. Holy monoculture on the battlefield brothers and sisters, we’re going to need a bigger tent. If you’ve spent anytime talking to people in recovery you know this fight can get bloody. Traditional twelve step recovery is not a fad, it is not going anywhere, and it has helped millions of people. I am forever grateful for what 12-step programs gave me. I love my meetings and my fellowship. But twelve step recovery can be black and white, non-critical and rigid. Either you follow the program, identify as an alcoholic/addict and abstain for life, or you don’t. Sober curious is curious about why you drink. It asks you to question your motivations and beliefs surrounding alcohol. It invites you to wake up one day and just…look at alcohol critically. Maybe even skeptically. It asks you to dig deep into your conditioning, trauma, and mental health to begin to ask yourself, who am I drinking for? What the fuck am I doing? Clinical goldmine. Sober curious people are actively rejecting the idea that wellness, mental health, and freedom from substances can only be achieved by abstinence, by working the steps, by labeling yourself. This scares the shit out of old-recovery. How can we “fixed” addicts be anything other than drunk? How can we meet people where they’re at if we can’t force them into our box? I have gotten hate from both sides. Told I wasn’t “sober enough” by old school recovery. Told I wasn’t “trying” or “doing it right” by sober curious people. If we can come together for ONE UNIVERSAL idea, it’s that progress is progress no matter how you slice it.