Field Notebook · Kairos//καιρός

Field Notebook

I’ve come to realize how hard it is for me to handle uncertainty. I’ve noticed how my body reacts and sends out signals of stress and anxiety.

Over the period during which I kept my journal, I noticed how much I want to get rid of uncertainties and how my body craves instant gratification and wants to eliminate unpleasant feelings and situations as quickly as possible. This dynamic has shown me just how much I’m caught up in external circumstances. Depending on what happens to me, I tend to react rather than act.

As I wrote down my fear and my reaction to it, and reflected on what I’d written, I realized that I create this fear within myself. This gave me a sense of control and showed me that it is an artificial feeling, not a real one, because it has no lasting power unless I allow it to. I am centered when I focus on what is essential. My core. Who I am and what I want to embody here and now in my reality. When I connect with something. Something greater and deeper.

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Field Notebook