Forgiveness is one of those forgotten words, that is often used as a tagline but so often is not fully explored or given the reverence it deserves. How do we heal? We release pain, anger, trauma, and outdated beliefs. How do we love? We release fear of being hurt and open our hearts. How do we grow? We release trying to control outcomes. How do we advance? We release the fear of failure. In order to release, forgiveness comes first, in order to forgive our ego has to be reconditioned... Forgiveness precedes release, forgiveness carries such weight in our healing and is absolutely essential for our continued spiritual journey and elevation. So many times we put so much effort into healing ourselves while unconsciously stepping over the powerful step of forgiveness. Without it, no matter the effort you will remain stuck. It is amazing how hard it is to forgive, but how easy and quickly the beautiful release come when you do it. Forgiveness changed my life, when I just let go of the resentment, the hurt, and all of the people who had hurt me in the past, I exhaled so deeply that I instantly received clarity and the thought; how much easier it is to love, to be humble, to remove judgement and just release all unkindness, mistreatment, betrayal, and abuse and give it to spirit to handle. How much more stronger, powerful and beautiful am I now that I let that grace enter the room before I do. This is a question for the group, how has forgiveness saved you? How has it freed you? How has it opened door of opportunities for you?

Before my Awakening process began, pain was a constant companion in my life, we had a very complicated relationship. I was first introduced to pain when I was 3 or 4. I can't remember precisely the exact age. I was not given the choice to be introduced, it was forced upon me by a close friend of the family. I was too young to process this new relationship, so my brain did a very brave thing. It separated itself into 7 different alters/personalities to help keep me emotionally intact. My second introduction to pain was somewhere around the age of 9 or 10. I met pain through the judging rose, colored glasses of my mother. She is a beautiful woman and she was a kind, loving mother who was trying to process her own trauma. Unfortunately, her way of coping was through perfectionism, over-structure, negative self-talk, over giving and escapism. So, I grew up always seeking approval from her and from everyone else. I learned very early to put my needs at the bottom, and take care of everyone else first. I learned my voice did not matter. I ran into pain again when I was 19 years old. This time pain had a name, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue. I was plagued with constant pain throughout my entire body and joints and experienced extreme fatigue and exhaustion everyday for 27 years. By the time I was 36, pain and I were completely co-dependent upon one another. So I should not have been surprised when my old friend visited me again, in the form of a violent r*** experience from a male acquaintance. As the years went by I became so comfortable with my awkward guest that I began to rely on it, pain began to be something I could depend on. Over time, pain would visit and the gifts it gave were larger, more intense and the stays were longer each time, until it never really left me. Over the years I struggled with Fibromyalgia, OCD, PTSD, DID, extreme anxiety and phobias, many addictions including alcoholism and other issues. I was moving through life numb, and unconsciously. I had a well paying job, a beautiful home, and friends and family, until at the age of 48 my entire world as I new it fell apart. I found out I was betrayed by a group of people that were closest to me, and suddenly my life was in danger. I had to move from my home rapidly, and re-locate across the united states. I lost all of my so-called friends and my job. I had nothing, so I thought...little did I know, I had all that I needed. I was in complete isolation for several months and was forced to breakdown and be vulnerable and look at my life, my pain...myself. It has been the hardest and most beautiful thing that I have ever done and experienced. I had to let my old self literally die off and let God create in me a new spirit of joy, confidence, forgiveness, and renewed faith. I had enough of moving through life without a compass. I completely surrendered the reigns and asked God and my spirit team to guide me to my true north. This time, I had to leave my old friend pain behind. I had no car, no money, no job, no friends, and I was in a completely new state. It was just me, my heavenly father, my spirit team, many cheap hotel rooms and a cell phone. It has been extremely challenging at times, but the greatest blessing has been that all of this has not only made me a better person who is whole and no longer broken, who is no longer in fear or in pain. It has also been preparing me to fulfill my divine purpose which is to help and heal others.

We are all imperfect and we all go struggle with things as we navigate through life. I am here to share my personal story of struggle and overcoming to show that no matter who you are and what you have been through we all deserve God's grace and he can deliver you from all trials and hardships, if you have faith, learn the proper spiritual tools to help you endure through this process, create a close connection with your spiritual team, and ask God to move in your life. By creating this group, I want to incite change, break barriers, dis-credit outdated beliefs, and show the commonality of our pain and experiences. There is a very important reason why you are taking this journey, so that in the end you can fulfill your divine purpose and help to enlighten others in your own unique way. Most importantly my story is a story of JOY, PEACE, and HAPPINESS. A story of conquering fear, family discord and envy, sibling rivalry, betrayal, obsession, control, manipulation, chronic pain, addictions, and crippling anxiety. Through sharing my story and hopefully through this group I can share how learning the proper tools and with God's grace, love and Spirit's support and protection, I was able to overcome those addictions, learn how to forgive, face my fears, heal my trauma, release control, and transmute and alchemize the darkness that I was experiencing into light. I want to share how I took the pain, fear, heartache, and trauma that almost broke me and built a house of faith with a foundation that will not crumble or falter. There is a very important reason why you are taking this Spiritual Awakening journey, so that in the end you can fulfill your own divine purpose. I want you to know that I am walking through this Awakening journey right along with you. I am still learning, strengthening and broadening my spirituality, raising my frequency and continuing to elevating my consciousness. As I continue to grow, I hope to become a humble mouthpiece for many who can grow with me.

Welcome to Beachside Soul, this is a brand new community. I am excited to connect and build something amazing! If you are a new member, post your name, where you are from and what stage of Spiritual Awakening you are in and what you would like to have support with.