So I DID give her the benefit of the doubtā¦
ā¦but NOW Iām thinking there were some SLEAZY ASS TACTICS at play here⦠So this morning I go for breakfast, as you do here in Bali⦠Kick off my sandals outside⦠Go eat my breakfast⦠NOM FRICKING NOM NOM. Living my best little scrambled tofu life. I come back out⦠WHAT THE FCK? WHERE ARE MY SHOES??? Likeā¦MY ACTUAL SHOES. Gone. Vanished.Disappeared.ABDUCTED. So naturally I lose the plot a tiny little bit. Iām looking under tables. Around plants.Questioning staff.Questioning humanity.Questioning whether I accidentally ascended barefoot into another dimensionā¦yup BUT HEREāS THE THING⦠I ALWAYS leave them at the door.Iāve been going to this place for TWO YEARS. And sitting thereā¦ALL ALONEā¦like some sad little abandoned ex⦠ā¦was a pair of BROWN sandals. Kind of like mine.But also VERY NOT LIKE MINE. Mine are BLACK. Cute.Cork.Sexy little vegan sandals. obvs These were brown leather-looking ones and honestly⦠I DONāT WANT YOUR SKANKY ASS BROWN SANDALS, SUSANā¦. (I know can u feel how serious I am about this) GIMME MY BLACK ONES BACK. So I ask where the lady went who was sitting there. āOhhh she left.ā OH DID SHE NOW? Now listen⦠Have YOU ever tried putting shoes on without looking down? (Yes I practiced) Itās kind of difficultAF. Go ahead give it a bash, film it show me⦠So at SOME POINT this woman had to notice sheād suddenly transformed from:ābrown sandal ladyā to āMimi Ramseyās black sandal era.ā And I thoughtā¦Ok⦠Maybe honest mistake.Maybe sheāll realise.Maybe sheāll come back in 10 mins all embarrassed and apologetic. NOPE. WE ARE NOW NEARLY TEN HOURS IN. No return. No phone call. No message. No:āHey, slight issue⦠accidentally stole your footwear.ā NOTHING. NAFF ALLā¦NOT A TOFU SAUSAGE And the thing thatās making me EXTRA RAGEY TO DA MAX⦠These sandals are hard AF to get here. I WAITED TWO YEARS FOR THESE BAD BOYS. TWO DAMN YEARS. Do you know how attached you become to sandals after two years in Bali? Those things have BEEN THROUGH IT with me.