@Manda Jackson I’m learning

Think you

@Manda Jackson that’s awesome I know it’s one of those days.

@Manda Jackson I understand

My beliefs didn’t start when I could think.They started before I was even born. In the womb. I was already inside a child—my mom, 15 years old—looking for something she didn’t have.Belonging.Love.To feel valued. Instead she was lied to.Seduced by a grown man who promised her things he never intended to give.Love. Protection. Safety. And then he left. So I’m in the womb, already sitting in that.That confusion.That abandonment.That pain that didn’t belong to me—but became mine anyway. This was inherited.Not learned later—felt first. I came into this world already carrying something heavy.Already connected to rejection.Already tied to a story where a man could walk awayand never look back. So what did I make that mean about me? That I wasn’t wanted.That I was a reminder of something painful.That my existence came from a moment that broke someone instead of building them. I believed I was a burden before I even had words to say it. Like maybe she wanted a baby thinking I would fix something…bring her what she was missing.But instead, I became another weight. So I started fighting. Fighting for attention.Fighting for love.Fighting just to have my basic needs met. And when that love didn’t come the way I needed it,I made it mean something. I made it mean:I’m not enough.It’s my fault.Something about me makes people leave. Maybe if I wasn’t here…he would’ve loved her.Maybe if I was different…things would’ve been better. That belief rooted deep. So I grew up trying to be better.Do more.Give more.Be whatever I thought people needed me to beso they wouldn’t leave me too. Because in my body, it was already written—people leave.and somehow… it’s because of me.

Shadow Questions: Which of these beliefs still run my life today? That I have to fight for love.That I have to prove I’m worth staying for.That if I’m not careful, not perfect, not giving enough—people will leave. And underneath all of that…that I am still that burden. Where do I see evidence that contradicts these beliefs? People have stayed.People do care about me without me having to earn it every second. There are moments where I am just being me—not overgiving, not overexplaining—and nothing falls apart. And the truth is…I’ve carried so much and still kept going.That doesn’t come from someone who isn’t enough. What am I afraid would happen if I let these beliefs go? If I stop believing I have to fight for love…will love still come? If I stop overgiving…will anyone stay? If I let go of being “the burden”…who am I without that story? Because this belief has been with me since the beginning.Before I had a voice.Before I had a choice. Letting it go feels like stepping into something I’ve never known.