Hello everyone, I wanted to take a moment to discuss a topic that came up in the discussions and chat during the ECA session today: the impact of emotional violence. I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences on this important issue. Emotional violence is often easy to overlook or downplay because it doesn't leave visible scars. However, recent neurological research shows that emotional pain registers in the same areas of the brain as physical pain. This means that emotional violence can have just as profound an impact as physical violence.Words, though intangible, can cut deep. Emotional violence can take many forms, such as verbal abuse, manipulation, gaslighting, and other forms of psychological harm. These experiences can shape our beliefs about ourselves and the world around us, leading to deeply ingrained limiting beliefs. For example, being constantly told that one is worthless or unlovable can lead to a pervasive sense of low self-esteem and self-doubt, impacting one's ability to form healthy relationships and pursue personal goals. This impact is even more profound when experienced during childhood, a critical period when the brain is still developing. Emotional violence during these formative years can alter brain development, leading to long-lasting effects on mental health and cognitive functioning. The trauma from emotional violence can manifest in various ways, including anxiety, depression, and even physical symptoms. People who experience emotional violence often get accustomed to not feeling heard and start muting themselves. To keep the peace and subconsciously avoid more violence, they might conform rather than state their true boundaries or experiences. This happens because they have not been provided a safe enough space to express themselves. In situations where emotional violence takes place at the hands of authoritarian parents, individuals may also respond to us as if we are in a position of authority. This can lead them to submit to our suggestions without fully expressing themselves, even if they are not fully aware of it.

Hey everyone, I came across a very insightful Instagram Post that I wanted to share with you all. It features a skit about enforcing boundaries with a narcissist and emphasizes an essential truth: boundaries are actions we take in response to others' behaviors. In the skit, the person explains that a boundary is not just a request but something we do to protect ourselves. The discussion ends with the suggestion that going no contact can be a crucial boundary when dealing with someone who does not respect our emotional safety. This brings us to an important conversation about the concept of boundaries and the necessity of going no contact with people who are not emotionally safe for us. Acknowledging our need for emotional safety sometimes means setting very strong boundaries, including no contact with those who refuse to respect us. It's important to recognize that going no contact is a very valid option for those who are in a position to do so. It can be empowering to forgive someone and even understand that, in their own way, they may love you. However, it’s also essential to recognize when someone is a risk to your personal emotional safety and to maintain no contact for that reason. People often misinterpret forgiveness as meaning you have to give that person access to you. It's possible to forgive someone, accept the relationship as it is, and still protect your emotional safety by not giving them access to you anymore. Unfortunately, there are situations where some may not be in a position to go no contact just yet. For those individuals, it's crucial to continue to seek ways to protect your emotional well-being and establish other forms of boundaries until you are able to fully disengage. This conversation is particularly important for those who have experienced emotional abuse, especially from close family members. Often, society encourages them to forgive and maintain relationships with their abusers, disregarding their very valid experiences to placate those who disrespect their boundaries and personhood.

Found this visual aide gem on Linked In. Sharing! In what ways do yon think this visual is relevant to coaching?

I recently watched "Inside Out 2" with my niece and nephew, both teenagers navigating the challenges of preparing for university and high school, along with the transitions and changes in friendships that come with these stages. The transitions they are going through are similar to what Riley experiences in the movie. Riley is transitioning from middle school to high school, worried about losing old friends and making new ones. For parents with children going through similar transitions, watching this movie together can be a valuable opportunity to open up communication and discuss the emotions their children may be experiencing. The movie brilliantly illustrates the importance of integrating all our emotions, not just the positive ones. As someone who works in intuitive guidance coaching, I was struck by how well it depicted the journey of emotional growth and self-discovery. In "Inside Out 2," Joy continues to dominate Riley's emotional control center, but as Riley enters puberty, new emotions like anxiety and ennui emerge. Joy attempts to suppress these negative emotions, leading to greater stress and a fragmented sense of self for Riley. Anxiety eventually takes over, and Riley's self-worth becomes tied to limiting beliefs like "If I make the team, they'll like me," causing her to push herself to unhealthy extremes. Without the balance of her integrated memories, there was nothing to counter the negative projections that Anxiety was putting forward. This lack of balance showed how important it is to have all experiences—positive and negative—acknowledged and integrated into our sense of self. Riley’s new sense of self, after all these memories were integrated, was more holistic. She understood that there are positive and negative parts to her, and that it’s okay because it’s all part of who she is. A pivotal moment in the movie is when Riley has an anxiety attack during a game and her friends come to hug her. This act of connection helps regulate her emotions, emphasizing the human need for connection and support.

We just had a practice session and Eric did his first time coaching, coaching me. And he did fantastic. He was super nervuous stepping into it, so there was a big breakthrough. Good Job Eric!! 🥳 You made me feel super safe, were a great empathic listener and constantly bringing it back to the core of me not feeling heard. @Eric Smith @Ellen Teju Martins-Olatunde @Tennille Jacobs @Tanya Brunello @Hannah