If you're losing yourself you'll lose the viewer, especially if they're also ADHD. About 50 seconds in I'd forgotten what the video was 'offering'. Edit Edit Edit. Reduce the background noise (That fan was driving me crazy about 10 seconds in), cut out the pauses. You could maybe lower the camera a bit to show more expression from your arms and body language (I need to improve this on mine), Tighten up the script, especially the first 30 seconds, which are CRUCIAL to retention. You need a title, a thumbnail, and you need a description. As a youtube specific aside, you've got 5 videos near all completely unrelated so youtube will have no idea who to show your videos to

Amazing well done!!

Similar to Victor on thinking it was a video 😄 Also agree on how it sounds quite generic at the start - I'd be way more interested if it was a lot more personal. You don't mention your own success until the 12th line, but I've probably stopped reading by then if I see this in the wild. Stating as a 'SEVEN FIGURE' earner can also come off quite overwhelming. Maybe if you had sentence about how you started to where you are now as part of your intro it helps break that barrier down - again, might be my own ADHDism that though, but I assume a large number of youtube channels are impulsive ADHDers too 🤣 The number of emojis and writing style makes it feel like a 'faceless guru' post I've seen 1000x on Twitter etc, whereas you actually have loads to offer. I also think there is maybe some clarity needed on 'who' the offer is for? There's an estimated 47 million active channels on youtube, are you targeting all of them? Do you have a speciality niche? I assume from the wording you focus on small businesses looking to grow by finding customers online, but that might be my own bias from having been investigating that last year

@Paulo Costa, The Roaster 🫠My 'too ADHD' brain over here 🤦🤣 Agree on the too wordy part, could you trim this down and not lose the key takeaways?

@Alexandra Alexa I get what you're saying but there are 10 sentences before you mention the 3 elements. Can that not be cut down without losing the hook you're going for?

Right, I LOVE giving video feedback so jumping in here 😄 “So I finally decided to stop waiting for perfect and hit publish” - Firstly, PERFECT! Every video gives you data and feedback to improve the next one 🙌 Secondly, ‘My target audience isn't what am looking at right now, but I'm using YouTube to get comfortable on camera, and improve my delivery.’ - I don’t really understand what you mean by this? Is this a practice youtube channel that is different than what your group is about? Straight away, I would consider maybe editing your audio to speed it up a touch. It’s never easy speaking in a non-native tongue, but although it’s technically better than most native people, it’s quite slow. An alternative to this could be changing the visual. You HAVE to have more going on the screen. Either a full screen talking head, or animations or something else to look at otherwise people will drop straight away. Focus on the hook. Within the first 3-5 seconds I should be intrigued, by 10-15 seconds(ish) I should know what I’m getting from the video. Really hype and sell. A suggestion to help with this is to go and find a load of videos in your niche, and download the transcripts, put them into a textile and feed them into claude or chat gpt and start to study the hooks that the successful videos use. What are the patterns? What are the similarities? What could you use? Within the first 10 seconds you say I’m going to show you three ways… but before that I want you to keep in mind….” By 30 seconds mark “So we are going to map out how to do this” - It’s not fully clear at this point (it might be my ADHD brain?) whether you are going to show the viewer what to do, or what to NOT do, because you’ve spoken about different end points. For this topic, try and show proof where possible, either your own or other peoples even if you haven’t got your own proof yet. Visually, you could have the text appearing on screen as lists etc to help the viewer. I don’t feel that as a viewer I got clarity from this video. What is the takeaway you want a viewer to have? Your description says: