Sometimes I feel like I’m being duped by spirituality or this entire world in general. There are days I wished I had just stayed oblivious and just go through life because if I didn’t think I could get it, then the pain wouldn’t be there by knowing it’s possible but can’t really reach it. It always feels like the goal post keeps moving. First it was I feel better, but nothing changes because I don’t believe. Then I do believe, because I truly believe I am worthy of living a life of ease and not having to worry all the time, but then nothing really changes either, because I have to heal my nervous system. And I have been doing the work on that, slowing down, taking time to rest, and it feels like because I do that, life has literally blown up in my face, so maybe it was the wrong timing for the rest. I’ve done the money courses, journaled, changed the story around childhood money wounds, and nothing has changed. It’s interesting that I found this page because it’s almost like there is another step, but honestly I do wonder if I’m just being taken along for a ride, and nothing will ever change, and I should be ok with that. Because it’s not that I don’t get what I want, I do, it just always seems to come with some conditions and the condition is money, by me trying to earn more and “elevate” myself I’ve basically lost it all, so maybe it’s a case of me just accepting that it’s ok to not have it?