On my way home from work, thinking about trying to relax. It would be better to meditate than to sleep. The future thoughts of arriving and unwinding before seemed stressing. I get home, investigate. Go to the bathroom, brush my teeth. I go to my room, pull my chair out. Something is off. I remove my beanie, problem-solve. I set my alarm for 5 minutes, adjust the volume so it wouldn't disturb my parents. I begin. It didn't take long to feel amazing, much more rewarding than yesterday. I could breathe. The silent early day, I could relax. I felt the chills on my ear, running down the back of my neck, then along my shoulders. I found myself narrating my sensation as if I was already typing this down, smiling and humored. My left eye duct teared, more like a slight hydration. My right had an itch that felt as if it was underneath the lid, trying to break my concentration. Not today. I kept my eyes shut and my hands together. How much longer did I have? Not just because of the noise the alarm could make, but I could stay like this longer than the alarm goes off. I write down my experience.I start my next 5 minutes. I had random faint thoughts. I didn't really know what to focus on , but then I had a random resonance a thousand times good luck came to my mind. I focus just on that and from my shoulders, all the way up to the top of my head felt sensational. I stayed focused on it a 1000 times good luck, then. I said, I will win this court battle. I will win this court battle. I will win this court battle. I will WIN $1 million a 1000 times good luck, repeating over and over and over this 5 minutes. Shorter than the first.

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I woke up around 2am. I was wondering what exactly was i supposed to do. Out of habit I got on IG and watch 3 reels/shorts idk what its called and the forth i remembered in the lesson that when we wake up the fabric between the spiritual to reality is still connected i immediately lost interest. I took out my notes and set my timer for 5 minutes. I sat down and wasn't comfortable. I pulled out my chair and restarted and something was off. I wrote down basic things I remembered from my dream. Then I restarted. I chose to concentrate on my dog/boy Qilin who passed away two August ago because in my dream a dog was relevant. My eyes closed breathing thinking of everything we had gone, through, who he was. Our memories. My left ear felt as if it was draining wax. Im grateful, thankful and honored to have had him. I said in my mind its our new journey and my alarm went off. Im tearing and I am holding back avoiding waking others. My forehead feels the pressure but im happy nonetheless. He was and is my great awakening. He was pure love that was separated from me the only one who I felt was actually there for me. He's not gone I know that. I love you Qilin thank you so much.

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I woke up around 11:10 am from an interesting dream. I didn't want to wake up due to feeling aches and the cold. My sleeping habits aren't constant due to my job and my broken toe. I've had to deal with these conditions because of a legal situation, my health has taken a huge hit from my "normal" life. I wrote down the things in my dream in the simplist way and began my meditation. I chose to focus on "passing" because I passed two spiritual test in my dream. I'm trying to breath and find comfort. My nostrils dry, the light hurting and I cant concentrate. I passed, I passed, I need black out curtains. Trying to relax, I passed, I passed, I cant concentrate I cant breath, Im not happy, im not comfortable. I hear my mother talking to my sister I love my sister. Im forcing myself to focus to concentrate, I remember its okay to have thoughts, a slight relief. My head hurts but I passed the sex test, I passed the fear test, I actually passed the self control test. I focus on passing the thought of passing my work situation and legal situation. Too many distractions I don't feel well, breath, breath. Before I know it my time was completed.... i then continued to write my Awareness experience simply. Then I remembered the last "chapter" of my dream and had to jotted it down beside the Awareness notes. I had the most vivid dream experience that deep within I was proud but I still feel like sh...