In my dream last night, I’m drawing a family portrait. But the family is Mayan, and they don’t look like normal people — they’re different sizes, from tiny children to a massive man lying on his back looking up at the sky. It felt like they were gods, or symbols of something bigger than themselves. I look up from my drawing, I’m a woman now, watching an old man in a dark room — he looks like a 75 Year old long bearded Nicolas Cage — surrounded by henchmen. He’s trying to tell me something important. I think he says, “He’s lying to you,” but I can’t quite remember. Then he gets pistol-whipped and shot. He dies sitting on a rotating pillar in the dark. As soon as he dies, the Mayan family I was drawing runs out of the room. It’s like they were being held there — or maybe they were set free. I put on a helmet, walk past the henchmen, and start headbutting them on my way to confront the man behind it. Then the dream shifts. I’m just shooting hoops at my childhood home. My dad shows up for lunch, and as he leaves, I suddenly remember — my dad is already dead. And it lands emotionally in my body. My grandfather died suddenly of a heart attack — the visionary of our family ranch — and we never said goodbye. My wife’s father was orphaned before age ten. And my own father is now approaching the same age his father died. It’s not just about my personal father — though that grief is real, alive, and on its way. It’s about time passing and our understanding of the lineage of Father. It’s the death of the inner or outer authority, and the light and shadows of the lineage of guidance. Of cohesive cultural direction. Of “someone older and wiser will show you what to do.” The Mayan family might be pointing to our ancient future lineages — one that’s wiser and intact in ways the modern world isn’t. I just visited the Mayan museum here in Mérida. Something about their society and economy, origin stories, their art, their cosmology, their power struggles— and how their society changed and died and persisted over 3000 years.

Hey Brothers, So as it reads from the last couple weeks, Benny would like to shift to a Thursday night (5:30 pm US PST)/ Friday Morning ( 11:30 AEST) for the call. And the frequency of that call would be bi weekly, with us always having the option to organize additional meetups amongst ourselves as we see fit. Drop a comment to vote yes or no, and if no provide alternatives that would work better for you.

Hello Brothers, I wanted to send love and positive energy to you all. I drove to Atlanta Sunday evening and I’ve been here since with my family for the holiday weekend. I realized I missed both calls and I apologize for not communicating my absence with more detail beforehand. Given the timing and unique circumstances I doubt this will happen again. I drove up here to spend time with my mom; she’s on her journey to healing from alcoholism so this has been such a beautiful experience for me to see her in her glow. My younger brother Spartacus (lives here too) is only 2 years apart from me. We have such a special bond because, you all know that have been there to hear my story, it was he and I for most of my childhood. He has seen & experienced what I speak about in our container. My brother’s father was abusive and my mother escaped shortly after my brother was born. Even though she left him, his abusive behavior was imprinted on me. I transferred whatever abusive energy I received onto my younger brother and that eventually created a void between us for many years. Especially after my stepfather met my mother and he was just as bad with his hands. Even though I felt he was evil, my brother took to him because of his on father wound. He never was able to meet his biological father where he would be able to remember him. So before I began my shadow work I never fully accepted that my brother and I may have internalized my stepfathers energy differently. And with that I was too immature to see past it so we clashed more than we meshed and that was fuel to an already burning fire where two boys are growing up together. As we got older and I moved to my aunts for highschool our paths separated. Overtime he heard the stories of my failures and made his own judgements of me, ridiculed me, even down right fist fought me in a vendetta he admitted was fuel by resentment of me because of how I treated him when we were younger I write this all to give context. I spent energy trying to reimagine my relationship with my brother internally because he was someone that was there for most of my journey. This week something shifted. I was myself unapologetically and the screenshot you see is what he sent me today after we wrapped up our time together.

old building built in 1900😃🤙🏽

Big shift this week in the Yucatan. New location, job and energy. We are up at 5am before the sun gets too strong. Then have the whole day to chill in a private studio apartment with full kitchen and Air conditioning. It’s quiet. You can hear symphonies of birds. We both started a morning and evening meditation together. Feeling a night and day difference in myself and with each other. I had a dream the other night about my brother and sister. They were playing in a baseball game with farm animals, and my little bro was like four years old trying to play pitcher and catcher at the same time, just laughing at every turn and having the time of his life. My heart really savored seeing him like that, since in reality I was an angry angsty teenager who did not love or appreciate him or his joy at the time. I am awaking to more of these feelings from my past in the dreamscape. We finished the audiobook “Matrimony” by Stephen Jenkinson of the Orphan Wisdom School and started his other book called “Die Wise”. Both are absolute gifts and inspiring some ritual we will craft in the upcoming years. 10/10 recommend. Love y’all, thanks for your check-ins this week