This One Shift Changed How I Lead, Love, and Handle Conflict
In my opinion, being a leader means taking ownership. And I used to think I was really good at this... Until I realized how šŗš š¹š®š»š“šš®š“š² šššÆšš¹š šæšš½šššæš²š± šæš²š¹š®šš¶š¼š»ššµš¶š½š, rather than bringing us closer together. In the past, I used to speak in "you" centered language. š āYou need meetings too often." š āYou don't care enough.ā š "You're not showing up the right way." Feelings would be hurt, I'd be misunderstood, and we'd both get defensive. So nothing got resolved. Now, I try to šš¹š¼š šŗššš²š¹š³ š±š¼šš» š®š»š± š¼šš» ššµš®šāš šµš®š½š½š²š»š¶š»š“ š¶š» š¢š. ā
āIām feeling anxious because I donāt know what to expect.ā ā
āIām realizing I need more clarity around timelines.ā ā
āIām feeling disconnected, and I want us to get back on the same page.ā Same situation. Same underlying issue. Completely different outcome. Iāve noticed this everywhere in my life: š Instead of āš š°š¶āš³š¦ šÆš°šµ š®š¢š¬šŖšÆšØ šµšŖš®š¦ š§š°š³ š®š¦,ā ā
ā āšāšŗ š³š²š²š¹š¶š»š“ š±š¶šš°š¼š»š»š²š°šš²š± š®š»š± š šŗš¶šš šš¼š.ā š Instead of āš š°š¶āš³š¦ š“šµš³š¦š“š“šŖšÆšØ š®š¦ š°š¶šµ,ā ā
ā āšāšŗ š³š²š²š¹š¶š»š“ š¼šš²šæššµš²š¹šŗš²š± š®š»š± š š»š²š²š± š® šŗš¼šŗš²š»š šš¼ šæš²š“šš¹š®šš².ā š Instead of āš š°š¶ š„š°šÆāšµ š³š¦š“š±š¦š¤šµ š®šŗ š£š°š¶šÆš„š¢š³šŖš¦š“,ā ā
ā āš š±š¶š±š»āš š°š¹š²š®šæš¹š š°š¼šŗšŗšš»š¶š°š®šš² šŗš šÆš¼šš»š±š®šæš, š®š»š± š š»š²š²š± šš¼ š±š¼ ššµš®š š»š¼š.ā This shift did two big things for me: 1ļøā£ It forced me to actually understand what š was feeling instead of outsourcing blame. 2ļøā£ It made it way easier for the other person to hear me without feeling attacked. Owning my experience doesnāt mean I never address hard things. It means I address them without making someone else the villain. And honestly? That one skill alone has upgraded my relationships, my leadership, and my inner peace more than almost anything else Iāve practiced. Curious if youāve noticed this in your own life? Or if this is something you want to work on, too?