…but NOW I’m thinking there were some SLEAZY ASS TACTICS at play here… So this morning I go for breakfast, as you do here in Bali… Kick off my sandals outside… Go eat my breakfast… NOM FRICKING NOM NOM. Living my best little scrambled tofu life. I come back out… WHAT THE FCK? WHERE ARE MY SHOES??? Like…MY ACTUAL SHOES. Gone. Vanished.Disappeared.ABDUCTED. So naturally I lose the plot a tiny little bit. I’m looking under tables. Around plants.Questioning staff.Questioning humanity.Questioning whether I accidentally ascended barefoot into another dimension…yup BUT HERE’S THE THING… I ALWAYS leave them at the door.I’ve been going to this place for TWO YEARS. And sitting there…ALL ALONE…like some sad little abandoned ex… …was a pair of BROWN sandals. Kind of like mine.But also VERY NOT LIKE MINE. Mine are BLACK. Cute.Cork.Sexy little vegan sandals. obvs These were brown leather-looking ones and honestly… I DON’T WANT YOUR SKANKY ASS BROWN SANDALS, SUSAN…. (I know can u feel how serious I am about this) GIMME MY BLACK ONES BACK. So I ask where the lady went who was sitting there. “Ohhh she left.” OH DID SHE NOW? Now listen… Have YOU ever tried putting shoes on without looking down? (Yes I practiced) It’s kind of difficultAF. Go ahead give it a bash, film it show me… So at SOME POINT this woman had to notice she’d suddenly transformed from:“brown sandal lady” to “Mimi Ramsey’s black sandal era.” And I thought…Ok… Maybe honest mistake.Maybe she’ll realise.Maybe she’ll come back in 10 mins all embarrassed and apologetic. NOPE. WE ARE NOW NEARLY TEN HOURS IN. No return. No phone call. No message. No:“Hey, slight issue… accidentally stole your footwear.” NOTHING. NAFF ALL…NOT A TOFU SAUSAGE And the thing that’s making me EXTRA RAGEY TO DA MAX… These sandals are hard AF to get here. I WAITED TWO YEARS FOR THESE BAD BOYS. TWO DAMN YEARS. Do you know how attached you become to sandals after two years in Bali? Those things have BEEN THROUGH IT with me.